This Is Just To Say

The Note

"Katelyn I'm home!" Katelyn's mum shouted. She ran up the beige coloured stairs and looked into her room. Nothing there. She ran into the computer room. Nothing there. She checked all of the rooms in the house. No signs of her beloved daughter.

It was at that moment when you saw that the main door to the bathroom was slightly open and with your heart thumping in her chest, she slowly opened the door.

She opened the door and dropped to her knees.

There before her, was her beloved Katelyn, on the floor with blood from her wrist which was smeared across the mirror, the razor covered with the same red sticky substance and an empty pill bottle on the sink.

Tears already streaming down her face, letting out a scream of pure pain, she ran to her phone and called an ambulance.

After the phone call, she edged towards her near lifeless daughter and approached her. She leant down to her side and touched her face. Cold as ice. She held her body in her arms and wept, until she noticed something.

She was still alive.

She was performing CPR, tears streaming down her face, trying the hardest she could to keep her child alive. She didn't want her to leave this world behind! She was everything to her!

After what seemed like an eternity, the ambulance had arrived and rushed her off to the hospital.

"It was lucky you called us when you did ma'am. She's still in a state where we can still save her! We recommend you don't come with us though, as we don't want to worry you about what will happen"

Her child could still be alive. She went back into the bathroom and that was where she saw the note:

This is just to say, this is not your fault and I'm sorry you had to see me like this.

This place called Earth, it's not meant for me.

This past week, I just lost all of the determination to live and carry on and I'd just wanted to fall asleep for months now. I was just so tired. I feel really peaceful and grateful that I can just slip away painlessly. Easily. I feel relieved that I've just terminated a life that had no point in living anymore, a life that just a waste of space... it just felt like the right thing to do. I couldn't of accomplished much anyway.

I felt like I was just apologising for every little thing I did when I was here. I apologise for crying, I apologise for the panic attacks, heck, I even apologised for having a girlfriend! This world is so unforgiving! I couldn't be myself, everyone judges people, and everyone just wants to be perfect. News flash: I wasn't perfect and I was never going to be! It just wasn't something I was capable of.

I just want to take the time to say that you were the reason why I lasted for so long. Knowing that I would upset you would just hurt me, much more than the guns and razors could. You were the one piece of happiness in my life and even though I'm not here, I'd still never want to make you upset. I'm not just a dead corpse on the floor, I'm a spirit hovering over you. Watching you live your life and I'll be with you every step of the way. Like your guardian angel. I'm just in a better place now.

I was not a fighter. I had been battling for five years and I just couldn't go on any longer. I couldn't cope with seeing any more disappointed faces, any angry scowls, any more hurtful comments. I just can't anymore. I know that you'll forget about me sooner or later, I mean, I'm me. It wasn't that exciting.

I need to go now, I'm nearly at the end of the paper! I had no choice but to leave this world behind, but you still have a life ahead of you. Don't let something so insignificant as myself effect you.

Even though I'm not by your side anymore, I'm always with you every step of the way, like a guardian angel.

I need to go now, I love you Mum, don't you forget that. This is it.

Goodbye.

To end with, the note was sealed with a teardrop and her blood.

Katelyn's mum dropped the letter and crawled into her room. She shut the door and wept.

Her girl. Her baby girl.

If she is still alive, she will try the best.

This is a matter of life and death.