This Is Just To Say

The Choice

As Katelyn laid there, she constantly felt herself slipping both in and out of consciousness, like diving under a dark pool. Sometimes she resurfaced, but sometimes she lay there in the dark feeling the dark suppress around her head, ears and wrists.

When Katelyn was sitting there, she started to feel very heavy, like someone was forcing her down into the wall and the bed. She was slipping again, but this time it was different.

As the dark consumed her vision, elaborate images started to swirl around in front of her until she saw what looked like... herself, but... happy?

The Katelyn she saw looked a lot younger than what she was now, she looked about 5 or 6, but she looked radiant. Her green eyes were shining like emeralds, her auburn hair glistening perfectly when the sun hit it, she almost looked beautiful. No. She is beautiful. But then something changed.

The years flew past like someone had pressed the fast-forward button. Katelyn saw her life fly past her, laughing at special happy moments that she thought she had forgotten about, but then came the worst memory of all. When her Dad died.

Her Dad's blue face on the rope.
His tear-stained face.
The glass of a smashed whisky bottle imbedded in his hand.
The way her Mum had screamed.
Then the colours became darker.

All the bad memories came flooding into her mind, and seeing all these things she saw the changes in herself.

Her coloured lips became white when she started to get bullied
Her bright eyes lost its sparkle when she had her first panic attack
Her body shape got dramatically thinner when she refused to eat
And her hair became lost it's shine when the boy forcibly took her pride. Against her will.

The bad memories started to pile up on each other, like someone recording over an old 2000's video tape. It kept getting faster and faster, and she could feel it force her head down into the darkness even more,

"STOP!" She screamed.

There was silence.

"It's time to decide Katelyn" a voice said. "If you come back up, you'll have to live with what you've done for the rest of your life. Those scars will help you, I bet. You'll be a freak. An outcast. I can give you death, just take it and what you set out to do will be complete"

Two doors showed up, one labelled Death and one labelled Life.

Katelyn stood there, bewildered. She edged closer to the door labelled 'Death'.

Her mind was set on it, she didn't want to be a freak anymore, she'd already ruined her life, she could see Dad again, she wouldn't have to face... anything. But as her hands wrapped around the Death doorknob, she heard her Mum start screaming, and crying. She saw her suicide.

The way her Mum was crying, the way she did anything to keep her alive.

Before Katelyn could change her mind, she let go of the Death doorknob, sprinted to the Life door, opened it and went through it.

"Nurse! Nurse! She's coming back!"