It's A Stupid, Pathetic Game.

Hey people. This book for me has a lot of meaning. It is kind of like my way of getting out all the bad crap and shit outta my life and to quit my stupid depression. so I hope you find this at least a little enjoyable and vote, comment and maybe even give me some critique?

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It's so stupid. What the hell am I even doing here? The voices in my head ring out negative thoughts as my Mother and I enter the doors to what I have called 'Hell' since I was 5 years old.

As if sensing my complete and utter hate and fear for this place, my Mother, Cathy, turns to me and grasps my hand "You know it will be alright. This is just a quick appointment!" She tries to cheer me up, so to give her the relief she wants, I smile and nod.

Afyer what seems like an eternity, but it really was just a half an hour, a short, pale skinned woman in white comes out from the big room behind the big desk, with reseptionists behind it, she calls my name "Minzy Derkatch? Is Minzy Derkatch here?" I grimace at the horrible sound of my name. My Mother and I stand and walk with

the woman into a dark room with an UltraSound table and computer setup in the middle of it. I sigh, Yet another one of these stupid UltraSounds.. I hate these..

I was then instructed by the woman, who I found out is named Calisha, to lay down on the table or bed. I would call it more of a table 'cause they are never comfy. So I decide to be difficult, Knowing full well she meant to lay down on my back, I lay down on my stomach. I smirk as I hear her and My Mother sigh in fustration. I was not going to be giving them an easy run today.

After three hours of trying to find my kidneys, my bladder and my liver, as well as me being difficult along the way, I finally get to go home! "Thank God!" I say as I streach my body out after Calisha leaves to print pictures or something unimportant. "Minzy Sioban Lee Derkatch!" I winced at my mother's tone and harsh usage of my full name. "What in the hell as gotten into you?" I shrug. I can't tell her. I can't come out and say 'Well, gee, mom! I just can't stand the freaking hospital trips anymore!' You would think that after endless trips here since I was a baby, I would be used to this thing by now. I still don't answer my mom I just gaze blankly at the doorway of which Calisha walked through.

This is going to be a long god damn day.

When we got to the car in the underground parking, it was already Three o clock in the afternoon. I had to stiffle a yawn. Why you ask? 'Cause when I yawn my Mother knows that I'm either thinking hard about something or I'm tired. So when the question "Are you okay, Minzy?" Comes to play I internally smack myself.

"Yeah, mom, I'm alright. Just thinking"

"About what? Are you excited to see your friends at school again tomorrow? I'm sure they missed you!" That's right.. I lied about having friends 'cause I'm an antisocial bitch who gets bullied on a regular basis at school. What reason have I to be sad? "I was just thinking about food, mom. I'm sure my friends will do fine without me. They always do.." I mutter the last part under my breath. She smiles and ruffles my short blonde hair and continues on driving.

We get home and the first thing I do is grab my laptop and jump onto my bed. I boot up my favourite RPG site, FeralHeart. I log in, a smile forms on my lips, this. This was my form of escape. While other people ate and some cut, I feel bad for the souls that do. I play games. The games and the 'friends' I have on this RPG website are my only escape. Because I know that at the moment I can live. I can live and wait until things get better or worse.

As I fall asleep after I have logged out I lay in my bed and just think. I think if who might pick on me. Who might attempt to beat me up. Who will tease me for being interested in anime and other 'abnormal' shit. When I finally drift into a world of sleep and dreams. All I see is black. All I hear is the sounds of a mechanical chain heart beat. In this dream then the black fades to white then I see myself walking in a vast field. My golden hair being whisped in the wind. The dress I had on was beautiful too, it was a light, pale blue. It looked nothing like the dress that I owned. All I could see was the green beautiful grass with shoots of wheat and daisies poking out here and there. The sky was a brilliant blue, the sun had shone with warm and inviting energy, the colors of this world were of nothing I've ever seen. I was stricken from the beauty of this world. But then, as quickly as it came, everything went to hell. the clouds began swirling in an unruly torment, the trees burned and fires raged on, the ground shook knocking me down, but would really terrified me was the screams and would like that poured from my arms and down on to the ground below.

I awoke with a scream and a gasp as I clutched at my heart. I shook with fear and plopped down on my pillow and sighed as I fell back asleep. What did it mean? Was this a sign? Why did everything go from good to total shit storm?

This is what I wanted to find out.

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I know I know "This is so awful dont quit your day job!" Well guess what I like it and some others might too.. so dont like please be kind and either leave or tell me what I should do to change in a kind manner. thank you!