Begin Again

Chapter 7

(RYAH)

I was confused when I woke up the next morning. Even with a thick coat wrapped around my shoulders I was freezing. I sat up and looked around as a small wave rocked the boat that I had slept on. As I looked around I noticed the large stain that was on the deck. Everything came flooding back to me in an instant and I remembered. 

I would have preferred to stay asleep. 

"My parents died when I was young."

My head snapped up to see Torin casually sitting against the side of the ship just a few feet away from me. He leaned his back against one of the rails on the edge of the ship with his legs extended out in front of him crossed at the ankles. It was obvious from his rumpled clothing that he had been there for awhile. His bare arms were wrapped around his torso to keep warm and I realized that I was wearing his coat. He looked at the toe of his boot as he spoke.

"They were killed." He looked up at me then when he was confident that I was paying attention he returned to looking at his boot. "My parents were good people. They didn't deserve to die. I was five years old yet I can't forget what happened to them" He said as he stared off into the distance not looking at anything in particular. "I can't forget their screams. I can't remember what I ate for dinner yesterday but I can remember the sound of screams from twenty years ago. I remember their agony as they were slowly killed right in front of me. Rollo's father found me wandering my village alone as I scrounged for food. He took me in and brought me here. The pain of losing someone doesn't ever go away but it does get easier to handle." He stood up and gave me a small smile. Then he stepped over the edge of the boat. I heard his feet touch down on the dock and I watched him walk away towards the village.

I forced myself to stand up and stretch my sore muscles. I clutched the thick coat around my shoulders.  I looked up to see if I could see Torin in the village but I couldn't pick out his tall form. I wanted to leave the coat there for him to find later but it would be disrespectful. I would have to return it to him myself. Maybe that was the point of leaving me with his coat so that I would have to bring it back to him. 

As I took a step forward I realized just how much my body hurt. The hard deck of the ship wasn't an ideal bed. I stepped over the railing and made my way off of the dock. As I walked home I attempted to collect my thoughts. 

I felt a lot like a little child. I had refused to believe that Eric was gone. My parents were right. Torin was an honorable man and I didn't believe that he would lie to me. I felt as though there were a large hole in my chest. My heart had been torn out and trampled on then drowned in the sea. I wasn't sure what I would have to do or what I would have to go through in order to get it back. I wasn't sure that I wanted to have it back. It hurt too much to have something to love then have it taken away. It would have been easier to never have loved at all. It would have been less painful. 

There wasn't anything left. Eric was gone. I wouldn't ever see him again. I walked through my yard towards the front door. As I pushed it open my mother greeted me with open arms. She soothingly stroked her hand over my hair as she held me close. I felt a wall tumbled down inside me and I barely managed to hold the tears back.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled against her hair. 

"Torin told us where you were and he said that he would keep an eye on you." She stroked a hand down my hair. "I'm so sorry dearest," She said as she released me and put her hands on my shoulders so she could look me in the eye. "This shouldn't have happened and I am very sorry that you have to go through this."

I gave her the best smile that I could force and nodded at her kind words. I cleared my throat before I spoke. "Where's father?" I asked. 

"He's out preparing the back field for planting. Would you like something for breakfast?"