“ What if I say I feel the same way? “ .
Those words came right out of my mouth unconsciously. They were not planned not even thought twice. They simply went out and just like that, I was in a very awkward and weird momentum with Irah. Fortunately, we were able to escape detention, we were released when everyone else was finished with their regular classes. I am supposed to spend my night with my squad because it’s a tradition that every last Friday of the month, we’ll have this mini gathering at each other’s houses. Last time, we went to Jeno’s home and now, they’re going to Haechan’s house. I know I will miss a lot but I know they’ll understand. I’ve spent years with them and i’ve only got right now to talk normally and seriously with irah.
She smiled at me while she was staring at my face. It was weird. I had this feeling that I just want to kiss and hug her right now. I only felt this kind of sensation. The desire to own her was something i’ve never thought. I was suddenly committed with the things that are about to happen. I wanted to carry the responsibility with her…
“ I know you do. But Mark—“ . She said as she suddenly clenched her fist and bit her lips. She then laughed while tears fell from her eyes. This is so sudden, confusing and most of all, done in the most imperfect time. This is the first time I get to see and hear her this serious and actually, no one has ever done and said this in front of me. “ As much as I want t, I badly want to spend my next few days, weeks, months and years with you. I know it’s very unlikely of me to feel this way towards someone like you but I can’t help it. “
I knew the very reason why she’s holding it back. It’s our family. Knowing that she’s this type of girl, our chances of being together, or even seeing each other would be pretty much low as a trench. This is sort of Romeo and Juliet kind of thing but the only thing that differs ourselves from them is that I’m Juliet and she’s romeo. Ironic but true.
Ever since Catastrophe entered my life, i knew from the very start that she’s big trouble. The way she speaks, moves and approaches just makes it more obvious but ever since catastrophe entered my life, i’ve never felt so alive. She brought chaos to my life yet she has brought infinite happiness. I do feel guilty of keeping this to my family but what choice do I have? I want to keep her. I don’t want to lose someone like her yet I want to stay away from someone who could be the very cause of my own destruction and downfall.
Like, how do we even fall in love without even being afraid of falling?
I was afraid of confessing her of what I feel because I know the consequences of loving someone like catastrophe are unpredictable and probably bigger than I expect it would be. It’s actually scary, especially knowing the fact the very first girl i’ll date is someone who’s not even my type…
YOU ARE READING
catastrophe° mark
Fanfiction"I don't like people who play by the rules. The question is, are you one of them? 'Cause if you are, then might as well leave my sight"
