meow or never

Chapter 1

I was sitting on the balcony, like I did every evening. I watched the neighbor cats climbing on trees, catching prey, the young ones were playing with some moss balls or other toys. I admired them, their life, their body, anything. But enough of this. Yeah, I loved cats, but I had important things to do. 'Important'. I had to work on the project that our company would present in the next days. My mind was blocked, though. I had no idea how I could make this project gigantic. But that was what my boss wanted. ›Make this project gigantic, Cate. We must show them that we're a strong company with good ideas and many talented employees!‹ he had said. If it was for me to survive I had to make a success. The problem's that I only had had two good ideas in this week, and today was Saturday. The presentation would be on Thursday, and on Wednesday I had to show it the boss. Well, I would be dead. With a loud sigh I went into the room and closed the door behind me. Then I gazed at the tons of work I still had to do. Without a word I passed the desk and got me a roasted toast with some nut-nougat cream. The sugar would help me overthinking. So I sat down and started. I wrote down some notices, and fortunately I really had special ideas.

After an hour or two, I proudly closed my notebook and was glad that I had reached something this day. Then I remembered what I had forgotten. I opened the notebook again and clicked into my private  account. There I opened my favorite game, which I didn't only play for fun. It kept me alive, even if nobody would've understood why. I wasn't addicted, if I was I wouldn't have forgotten to play. But I needed it somehow.
The login screen appeared and I logged in. I chose my best avatar and typed in the pin which consisted of 6 numbers. Then I spawned somewhere in the wild. I opened the map to see where I was and looked for quests in this area. I found one, it was a golden quest, which meant it was a campaign quest. It didn't took me a long time to complete it and get me new experience. A sound told me that I had reached a new level. I watched my xp bar and found out I was already level 63! I don't think anyone knows the game, so I wanna tell you that level 63 is very high. The highest level you can get is 69. I opened Steam to see how many hours of playtime I had. Hell yeah! 148 hours. And I only played the game for two and a half months. I was a gamer. I had more days off than the most humans, but I also had a really hard job. Okay, okay, I'm just kidding. I worked at a gaming company and everyone who was working there had to choose one game he or she likes to play. I had to play a game at least one month, if I didn't like it at all, then I could choose another, but only at the end of the month. I liked my game very much, so I didn't have to get another. Of course you now think ›You call this work? Come back into reality‹
But you're wrong. There are many gaming companies like ours, and four times a year there was a championship. The players fighted against each other, that's why we all had to get better and better. We didn't get that much content a month, but for each battle we won at the championship the company got a fix amount of dollars, and as a player you got a quarter. And those amounts weren't just a cheap bundle of one-dollar notes, if you know what I wanna say.
Our content is 900 dollars per month, as I said, not that much. We also had to pay the games ourself.

But enough of this. Surely you now ask yourself why I had to plan a project. Well, after championships the bosses of the gaming companies chose what gamers they found interesting, and then they met and sometimes the gamers were sold to the other company. Of course they ask them before and if they say yes they get half of the money they were sold for.
But let me explain something different. I'm gonna tell you my own story. When I joined the company a year ago, I got an ordinary notebook, I don't know the brand anymore. Then I won four battles at the championship, though lost seven. The boss told me it's okay and so I trained harder for the next. There I won six battles and only lost two. I got a better notebook and many congratulations from my friends in the company. The third championship I won eight battles and lost three, but the last one was the best. I'd won eleven battles and I lost none! My boss was really proud of me and bought me a new notebook, it was a limited edition of the bran AORUS. Everytime a player won over 10 battles he got a better notebook, in case his old one wasn't that good. But I got a really special one because I lost none. I could now tell you all the details, but I think the most of you won't know what I mean. I'm a specialist at computers.

My mobile rang and I stopped overthinking. It was 6wr6vc6, Loren. All my teammates were saved with their player names, and so I was. They knew me as 01cbxy80. I pressed the green button and held the phone on to my ear.
›Hey devil‹ I said his nickname and grinned.
›I'm standing at your door, we need to talk about the project. And hi alpha‹ he laughed. Yeah, my nickname was alpha. I think you all can imagine why devil and alpha, can't you?
›Coming, darling‹ I told him. No, I wasn't in love with him, we just called each other darling for some reason. Okay okay, big fat lie. I totally fell in love with him. But I couldn't let myself get into a relationship. I wanted, I wanted so much, but I wasn't allowed. I couldn't allow myself.
I lay down my mobile and ran to the door. I breathed in deeply, I knew what he would tell me now. But I still opened the door.
›Happy birthday, alpha!‹ he said and I had to grin as he showed me the present.
›Pizza?‹ I laughed. ›Oh devil, you make me smile even on my birthday!‹
Three words, eleven letters. I love pizza.
›May I get in or do you wanna stand here the whole evening?‹ he asked.
›Evening? Its almost half past 10!‹ I remembered him.
›I told you, evening‹ he answered smiling. I sighed and showed him to go in. He nodded grateful and got in, where he lay the pizza on the table. I closed the door and sat down as he did.
›Did you do anything today?‹ he asked while chewing the well made pizza. I nodded.
›I had some great ideas‹ I mumbled, ›I have to show you afterwards.‹
A longer time there was silence, then Loren opened his mouth again.
›Uhm, you never told me why you don't like your birthday‹ he said and looked at me with an asking gaze. Oh, yeah. My birthday.
›You're right, I haven't told you‹ I answered.
›So.. will you tell me?‹ the devil asked. I sighed.
›My birthday remembers me of my birth‹ I explained with a bit of sarcasm.
›And that's why you don't like him?‹ He seemed confused. Humans. Little stupid, those creatures.
›Exactly‹ I told him and moved on chewing.
›Oh please, Cate. Let's have a real conversation. Could you please explain why you don't like your birth or birthday or whatever?‹ Loren said bugged.
›I should never have been born‹ I spat. ›Is that what you wanna hear?‹
Loren gazed at me with unbelief.
›Why do you think this way? Can't you see what you mean to me? I don't want you to never been born! But you can't see this, can you? Cos I mean nothing to you, I'm just your toy!‹ he screamed at me totally outraged. It wasn't for him to love me, but I was his best friend. The only friend.
›That's not true, you know it's not‹, I told him. ›Chill down, I never said I wouldn't like you.‹
Loren looked at me with widened eyes, then he tried to calm down and breathed in deeply.
›Cate, did you just tell me that you don't wanna live anymore?‹
This sentence took me long to get what he said. Did I want to die? Did he want to live? I would never be lucky, I knew. But at the moment I played enough to not realize how bad life was going.
›I.. I don't really know. I'm sorry. But I'm fighting, I promise.‹
›You can talk to me about everything, you know, do you?‹ he explained sensitively. I nodded, but it wasn't true. I couldn't talk to him. I would lose him.