The 2nd Attempt

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"Why are you smiling so much, Dazai-San?" Atsushi asked his brown haired colleague.
"Today has been really interesting, Atsushi-San~!" The brown haired male hummed to his teenage friend.
"Why?"
"Instead of ending my life, I saved somebody else's!" Dazai exclaimed.
"Where's your coat?" Atsushi asked.
"That's part of the story! Want to hear it?"
"No! You should stop trying to kill yourself, you suicidal maniac!" Kunikida growled.
"If you always tell me what to do you'll ruin your health..." Dazai hummed.
"...Really?" Kunikida asked, as Atsushi sweat dropped in the corner. Dazai nodded, waving his hand at his companions notebook for him to write it down. Kunikida began scribbling vigorously, snapping his pen in half when Dazai told him he was only joking.
"So how did you save somebody, Dazai?" Tanizaki asked, cringing slightly as his sister rubbed her cheek against his happily.
"She agreed to do a double suicide with me-" Dazai started happily, pouting when Dazai advised him to end the story there. "But...I saved her instead. The second we hit the water I wanted to save her. I couldn't bear the thought of her suffering..."
"Are you in love, Dazai-San?" Atsushi asked, in shock.
"In love? Why would I be in love?" Dazai frowned. He was seriously confused.

"Stay with me, don't die." He begged, brown hair framing your face as his deep brown eyes stared into yoursHe pulled back when he noticed your eyes were open, and his body began to retreat away your (un)conscious figure.

"Y/N? Is that you, dear?" Came the voice of your mum.
"Yes mum. It's me. I'm home." You called, hurrying to your room, throwing the trench coat on the bed and going to meet your mother on the landing.
"Are you sure you don't want to have the spare bedroom upstairs, honey? Your so distanced!" She exclaimed. That was exactly the reason why you had a tiny box room downstairs as your bedroom.
"I like the small space, mum." You lied. She simply sighed in response.
"Your father is at work." She told you.
"Step father." You growled, causing your mother to cross her arms angrily.
"He is your father, whether you like it or not." She snapped, her tone a command.
"Yes mum." You whispered, putting your head down as you retreated inside your bedroom. You quickly shut the door, slipping into a collapsed position on the floor. You was finally safe. In the confines of your small room.

"Your mother can't find out about what we do together. You know that, don't you? Y/N?" He asked, blonde hair clipped back begins his ears.
"I know that." You sobbed.
"So why are you crying like that? She'll find out." He pressed.
"I know that! But it hurts, daddy."
"I'm not your daddy, you good for nothing little brat! I'm your step father, and I sure as hell wish I wasn't even that!" He snapped, causing you to shrink back.
"I'm so sorry, daddy." You sobbed a little more, shuffling back a little as tears escaped from their prison.

Damn that brown haired man. He ruined everything! You could be in heaven right now, with your father. Your real father. And your real brother. But no, you was stuck here. In this crappy house, in this crappy world all because he couldn't leave you to die! He wanted to die anyway, so what was the point in him saving you? You was going to give him a piece of your mind as soon as you seen him again. You would yell at him, and scream. Tell him everything he had messed up.

And even though you hated to admit it, that brown haired man was the reason you didn't try to kill yourself in a full month. Normally, you tried every day. You even had a book on the perfect way to commit suicide, though it really didn't help. But the thought of scolding that man was somehow keeping you alive. It had been, anyway.

"What did she look like, Dazai?" Kunikida asked, sighing as he pushed up his glasses.
"Who?"
"That girl you saved. If you won't shut up about her, then maybe if we found her you shut up?"
"That's a good idea! What was her name?" Tanizaki asked, nodding in agreement.
"She didn't give me her name. But she had  h/l h/c hair, pulled back into a ponytail. And she had sparkling e/c eyes, but...they looked as if they had lost their spark..." Dazai explained excitedly.
"And...?" Atsushi pressed, raising an eyebrow when he noticed Kunikida taking notes. He was getting really into the idea of shutting Dazai up.
"She wore a beautiful f/c dress, with little black dolly shoes to match." Dazai continued.
"I swear I saw her before. She was heading into the park." Naomi frowned, and her brother turned to frown at her.
"Really?" He asked in disbelief.
"Yes. She had a bottle of pills in her hand."
"You don't think...." Atsushi whispered, eyes widening in fear.

You had had a horrible day. And it all started when you ran into your step brother on the stairs.
"Why are you in my way?!" He growled.
"I was only trying to get upstairs." You argued, flinching as he ran down towards you, slamming his fist into your cheek. You had felt this pain so many times it was losing its effect. Next, he rammed his knee into your stomach, leaving you to crumple in a heap as he stormed out the house. But not before he managed to get the last word.
"Your worthless! You don't even need to exist!"

You had managed to avoid everybody in the house for a month now, but your run in with your step brother had only reminded you how you couldn't run forever.  The only way you could run was if you ended it. You could run away to heaven, and everything would be OK.

You only had one wish in death; to die outside. Sometimes, you did try to take your life indoors. But generally, you tried it in the space of the open world. It was like it broadened your horizons by doing that.

That was how you ended up on a park bench, downing pill after pill after pill with a bottle of chemical-tasting Ribena from a cheap cafe on the corner. When you finished, you dropped the bottle of pills and the Ribena on the floor, curling up on the bench as you felt everything go chilly. The air was starting to suffocate you. Everything was getting dark. You let out a final sob as your eyes closed.

"How is the patient?"
"Shes doing a lot better, Doctor. She should be awake in a few hours." The nurse responded, hugging a clipboard to her chest.
"Thank goodness. To think she tried to overdose in a park. This new generation." The Doctor sighed, and the nurse nodded, following him out of your room. You opened your mouth to call after her, but your eyes flickered shut before any sound could escape.

"Sir! You can't be in here! Visiting hours ended 5 hours ago!" The nurse argued, struggling to pull the brown haired man away from your room.
"But I have to see her!" Cried the brown haired man.
"Please just let him see the girl or he'll kill himself, stupid idiot." Kunikida advised the nurse, holding his book of Ideals tightly.
"For 5 minutes. No more." The nurse sighed, letting Dazai launch into your room. Your eyes narrowed when they saw his. You had just woken up in a hospital bed (evidently you'd had another failed attempt at suicide) and now you was staring into the eyes of the man who you dispised.
"You." You growled, voice hoarse.
"And it's you." He practically sobbed, brown eyes sparkling. Just like they had when he saved your life.


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