The Exception ~ Dazai X Reader

Dazai Osamu

"You." You croaked, eyes staring into pupils of the man you least expected (and least wanted) to see.
"And it's you!" He beamed, sitting on the end of the bed. You resisted the urge to kick him off.
"What do you want from me this time? Are you going to lecture me?" You growled.
"Why would I lecture you?" He frowned.
"Well I'm not doing another double suicide with you, because the last double suicide evidently didn't work, did it?!" You were sparing no mercy to this guy.
"I want to commit a double suicide with anybody but you." He admitted.
"...Why?" You snapped. Nothing he said made any sense at this point.
"Im still trying to figure that one out." He admitted, but he was still smiling at you nonetheless.  Oh how your fingers were itching to wipe (slap) that smile off his pretty little face. Pretty? No. Ugly little face.
"Can you get out of my hospital room?" You deadpan, figuring that he wouldn't leave unless you prompted him to.
"Actually, my friends gave me a great idea!" He rambled. God damn this guy!
"And what idea was that?"
"Seeing as you tried to kill yourself again, Ranpo deducted it might be a problem at home, so why don't you come work for the agency for a bit? You'll get away from your home, and I get to spend more time with you!" He explained, clapping his hands together excitedly. The first point was great, the second was not so great...
"The agency?" You mumbled.
"The armed detective agency." He grinned.
"The...those creeps with abilities and vivid imaginations?" You asked, and he nodded.
"Though I don't know if 'vivid imaginations' quite explains us..."
"I don't have an ability."
"My name is Dazai Osamu!" WHEN THE HELL DID YOU ASK FOR HIS NAME?! Your left eye twitched in annoyance, but you told him your name.
"Awesome! Welcome to the agency, Y/N!"
"Oh, I can run back home after I get out of here and get your coat for you?" You offered. Maybe getting his coat would get him our of your hair. He blinked for a few moments, glancing down. His eyes sparkled slightly, and he nodded.
"I forgot about that! Your so clever, Y/N-Chan~!" He hummed and you sweat dropped.
"Can you leave me now?" You pressed and he stood up, nodding. He didn't leave before he left a note on your desk for you though.

A few hours later, you was discharged. You got dressed into some jeans and a t-shirt, picked up the note and read it.

         Y/N-Chan~
Hey again~
The agency is in the big red building on the corner, it's not hard to find! But I'll leave Atsushi-San outside for you~!
I can't wait to see you again.
Oh, I have an idea, Y/N! Why don't you wear my trench coat when you come to agency?
You'll look really KAWAII 》.《 in it!!!
       Can't wait, bye bye~
Your suicidal best friend, Dazai!

Kawaii? Best friend? And who the hell was Atsushi? Damn, Dazai was getting more annoying as time went on. You stuffed the note into your pocket, signing yourself out of the hospital and running along back home to get his trench coat, which under no circumstances would you be wearing.