Collection of Timmy Rasmussen One Shots

Panic

You sink to the kitchen floor. Body quivering, heart hammering so hard you can feel it in your chest and hear it in your ears. You clutch at your chest, desperately trying to control your erratic breathing, just wanting it all to stop. You feel wetness drip down your face and onto your neck. "Why can't I just be normal?" You mutter you yourself. Sure everyone stresses out in college, but not to the point where they become a pathetic trembling mess on the floor after the first day. How are you possibly going to make it an entire semester if you are too much of a baby to make it past the first day? The professors just seem so cold, the workload is horrendous, and you are already getting looks from the other students. Yeah, you know that they probably don't mean anything by it, but that ever present voice in the back of your mind tells you different. "They're judging you." it tells you. "They don't even know you and the already know that you're a freak. Nobody likes you, freak." These thoughts are the ones that have been haunting you all day. You just can't deal with this. Not any more. You just want your stupid heart to slow down, your stupid breathing to even out, and your stupid brain to shut up.

The dizzy feeling overwhelms you and you suddenly feel like you are no longer in your on skin. Just as you are about to give in and let the numbing darkness take you, you hear the ear piercing screech of front door opening. Scared of somebody finding you in your pathetic state, you shift so you are on your hands and knees, acting like you are looking for something that was dropped on the floor. "Hello?" You hear a voice call from the entryway. You stiffen. "No." you think to yourself. With anybody else you could pass yourself off as fine. Not with him. You've been best friends since he let you have his juice box in kindergarden. He knows you better then you know yourself sometimes. There was absolutely no way that he would believe you were fine. He would find you and then he would tell your mom who would make you go back to that creepy therapist with the disgusting breath.

You hear footsteps on the perpetually sticky linoleum behind you. "Hey! There you are! You were supposed to meet me in the parking lot after class remem....what are you doing?" He asks. You can tell he's wearing his signature half smirk without even looking at him. An idea springs into your mind. If you don't let him see your face, maybe you can play this off as a joke. You attempt to laugh, but in your breathless state, it comes out as more of a psychotic cackle. Shit. "Are you all right?" You can see him kneel down next to you out of the corner of your eye. You nod, not trusting your voice again. If your lack of speaking isn't giving you away, the erratic movements of your chest definitely are. "Look at me." He says, completely serious. You don't move a muscle. "I mean it. Look at me." You watch as tear falls and explodes onto the floor. Somehow, that was all it took to break you open again. You give up on trying to hide it, gasping and sobbing freely. "Hey now, calm down. You need to relax and breathe." He pulls back on your shoulders so you are sitting up, facing him. He doesn't remove his hands from your shoulders. Looking straight into your tear-filled eyes, he speaks again. "I want you to breath with me, okay? In, 1...2...3....Out, 1....2....3...." He runs his hands up and down your arms slowly, eyes never leaving yours. You attempt to follow his instructions, trying to match the rise and fall of your chest with his. He continues to instruct you for another ten or so minutes until your breathing returns to a somewhat normal pace. He searches your face for any sign that you'll lose it again. After he is satisfied, he pulls you forward into his lap and slides his arms around you. Hands rubbing your back, he murmurs to "just breath" into your ear, giving you chills. You lay your head on his shoulder and smile a little, everything negative fading away as you breathe in time with him. "Don't you ever try and go through this on your own again. If you are feeling upset please come find me. I love you, and I am always here." You nod a pull him closer, not yet willing to get up.