SEXUAL ORIENTATIONS

Asexuality Masterpost ~ Part I

What is asexuality?

Asexuality, simply put, is experiencing no or very little sexual attraction to anyone, regardless of their gender identity. About 1% of the population identify as asexual - this may not sound like a lot, until you remember that there's about 7 billion people on the planet. That's 70, 000,000 people.

Asexual people are also known as 'aces' or 'asexy' by the community. Aces can be any age, gender, ethnicity, body/personality type, have any kind of clothing style, be anywhere on the socioeconomic scale, and can be any religion or political affiliation - there is no 'stereotypical asexual'.

Contrary to popular belief, the 'A' in LGBTQ+ stands for 'asexual' {as well as aromantic and agender} and not 'allies', although they are very important for the queer community and much appreciated.

"Asexuality is a sexual orientation, like homosexuality or heterosexuality. And like being straight or being gay, it's about what someone feels, not what someone does. Dating, having sex, masturbating, falling in love, getting married, or having children do not conflict with asexuality in any way. There are many reasons why an asexual person might do these things that do not require sexual attraction to be present."

[SOURCE: http://www.whatisasexuality.com/intro/]

By those who don't experience it, and sometimes even those who do, asexuality can be mistaken for celibacy or inexperience. However a person's attraction {though fluid throughout their life} is generally established through puberty. People who choose not to engage in sexual activities may still feel sexual attraction, and asexuals may take part in such activities - be it because they feel like they have to or simply because they want to.

In the past, asexuality has been 'diagnosed' by doctors as hypoactive sexual desire disorder {HSDD}. However, asexuality has nothing to do with libido or ability to become aroused, and, strictly speaking, HSDD must be causing some sort of emotional distress to be properly diagnosed. Likewise, being asexual is not a hormonal issue - the vast majority of aces have perfectly normal levels of the respective sex hormones.

It must be said here that while asexuality is not always caused by something, there is sometimes a link between this and a person's other identity or condition. For example, some aces believe that their asexuality is affected by their neurological condition. This does not invalidate their sexuality on any grounds, and neurodivergent aces are 100% welcomed into the ace community as genuine and friendly cake-guzzling members.

In the way other sexualities are fluid and prone to change, asexuality is also not as simple. There is a scale - or the 'asexual spectrum', which highlights grey areas within the orientation. Some individuals may feel sexual attraction on limited occasions - for example gray-aces who flick from periods of asexuality to allosexuality with sometimes years in between instances of attraction {allosexual/allo is the term allocated to those who feel sexual attraction to anyone - the opposite of being ace essentially}. The intensity of said attraction or the desire to satisfy it varies for each grey-spec ace.

Another example would be demisexual individuals, who experience sexual attraction only after developing a strong attachment/emotional bond with someone. A fraysexual would be a person who experiences sexual attraction only to people that they do not know well, and often find that their attraction fades as they get to know the person better {though they often continue to desire other types of relationship with them}.

Any asexual may identify as cupiosexual. This means that in spite of not feeling sexual attraction, they still desire a sexual relationship. This is not a contradiction: you can eat chocolate cake even if you're not craving it. The actions of an ace or indeed of any person are independent of their attraction.

This is not by any means an exhaustive list of the subsets of sexual attractions that come under the asexual umbrella. Nor are the terms universal - there may be different words for the same attraction. The differences occur due to concerns over the linguistic roots.

Whilst aces do not necessarily desire sexual intimacy, that does not mean to say that they can not be in meaningful relationships. Asexuals can and often do experience romantic, affectional, sensual, aesthetic and platonic attractions to all sorts of gender identities. These alternative attractions are perhaps not really distinguished as such and as a result are usually tied up in sexual identities. This has led to the rise of what is known as the 'split attraction model'. It amounts to the idea that an individual's sexual orientation may not match up to their romantic orientation.

Although many asexuals also identify as aromantic - and so perhaps may seek platonic relationships - it is quite common for aces to feel romantic attraction. As a result, identity labels exist parallel to each other, with someone identifying as a 'biromantic asexual', for example. Just to clarify, it's not just aces who experience these split attractions - in other words, being an 'panromantic heterosexual' is also possible.

Thanks for reading - we hope you understand asexuality a little better. Below, we have attached a video which we think sums up the post nicely. Please direct any questions towards us in the comments, and feel free to share with people you know to help us raise visibility during awareness week - LTAC!

- thefineideayoucrave and mynameisnotholly