I do not know who I am
My face is always a mask
I hide myself behind laughter, jokes, and smart comments
I cannot let my true self out
I always keep my carefree look
I try to seem smart and likable and normal
But my life is a turmoil
I do not know who I am
My inner self is hidden
Because inside, I am a monster, a pervert, and everything else
My world is full of swirling hopes
Yet the hopes spiral into despair
My thoughts are unlike anything
For even the wildest beast has a direction to go
But my thoughts wander and fly in every direction
I do not know who I am
Sometimes I want to tear myself apart
I want to rip my soul to pieces
And scatter the pieces farther than the ends of the world
I want to start life over
I wish I could stay that innocent child I used to be
I envy the people around me who seem to be so normal
Without concerns other than grades and homework and classes
But my soul can never be cleansed
I do not know who I am
I want everything and nothing
I want to be a pianist yet I hate to practice
I want to be a writer yet I never make time
I want to kill myself yet I know I have to live
I want to do something yet I hate to do what is needed to do it
I know that I need to persevere
But my spirit is not strong enough
I do not know who I am
I do not know who I
I do not know who
I do not know
I do not
I do
I
Sometimes I feel as if all my despair will one day consume me until i am nothing but a shadow, wavering in a whisper of wind.
