Poetry (it's all the same to me)

Trans boys dreams

Trans boys dreams,
Unattainable they sometimes seem

to any normal person by that i mean a human of the cis-gendered version a trans boys dreams are strange and some might even think obscene

you see the trans boys dream is simple,

well for me it's to become who im supposed to be

to line up my body with the way i see,

the way i see me .

the version of me that lives in my head with no worries about taking off his shirt and showing of his chest because if my body was in line with how it should be that would be easy

and i sometimes wish i could achieve that without any correction surgery but sometimes you can't get what you wish for 

and as i scream into the void of dysphoria i see not end to this evil torture 

placed on me at birth the moment the doctors said

'It's a girl!'

Now 17 years later i stare into the void as i try to tell my parents that their little girl is actually a boy

a boy that wishes they could somehow understand the torture,

the torture that he faces just by hearing the name they have said since birth and the pain from hearing the words

'This is our daughter'

the longing wish to tell them they actually have 2 sons and 1 daughter instead of the vise-versa 

yet the fear of no acceptance haunts the true message,

that i wish to share,

in hopes they'd care enough to still love me,

enough to keep me around and not throw me to the ground and disown me 

However it's hard to fight that fear when you only have one on the tally of those who accept you

that one being you're best friend, 

(which is actually the greatest feeling in the world, that she accepts  you)

so i sit,

most nights in my room alone

wondering,

wondering what it would be like to tell the world the truth,

that this little boy who wasn't born the way he appears to be is transgender

and leading a crazy adventure as he figures out how to pass

in a crazy world where it seems like all anyone ever does is acts 

so i doubt you will ever find this but somehow if you do

mom and dad your oldest kid is trans and by the way

his name's Camren too