In Another Time, Another Place (Parts 1&2)

Mess We've Made

by Hannah Frost

Let this come crashing down, there's no way to fix this now.

We're lost in the crowd and our love will soon decay.

To fall in love and to fall out of love can happen in such a short span of time. I loved her, of that I am certain. But I also love the girl waiting for me, the girl who needs me more than anyone else.

I wonder how it happened.

Sobrang bilis. Did you know that falling in love takes only one fourth of a second? Now, I am convinced that it takes just as long to fall out of it.

"This is really what you want, right?" she asked. Naluluha siya, I know. It's the way she tilts her head up, trying to hold her tears in, that tells me she's in pain.

"Yes."sabi 'ko.

"God, this hurts."she sighed. "Hindi mo alam kung gaano 'to kasakit para sa 'kin. You promised me forever. At 'san napunta 'yung forever mong 'yun?"

I didn't look at her. Hindi ko alam ang sagot. Why? Why did I break up with her? What was wrong with me? She is the dream of every guy in campus−beautiful, smart and caring. And I'm letting her go.

"Can you at least look at me?"she asked. Pero hindi ko magawa.

I'm afraid that if I look at her, I'd take everything I said back. I'm afraid of uncertainty. So I stare at the coffee in front of me and at the table separating the two of us. But she's staring at me, intensely and intently.

"Can you at least give me your reason? Please, at least explain why. Please tell me na I'm not that worthless to leave without an explanation." she says.

"It will only hurt you more."I say.

And it's true. How can I explain something so complicated to her without her feeling like I stabbed her heart again? I've already hurt her enough. And though it sounds stupid, I am hurting too.

I planned this in my head for so many times. Now that it's happening, I don't know what the hell I'm doing. It's like I was expecting this and not expecting it at the same time.

There is no way for me to be ready for this.

"I don't think anything can hurt more than this."

"I love Jane, okay. I don't know how it happened but it did." diretso kong sinabi. "So I'm breaking up with you."

A few moments of silence as she lets it sink in.

"Oh my god."she whispered. "It makes sense. Nagbubulag-bulagan lang talaga ako for a long time. But I saw it, I saw you holding her hand and comforting her and slowly drifting away from me."

I remained silent.

"I get it now. I just hope you don't hurt her the way you hurt me." she said. "Good bye, Gray."