Hey, I'm Tired

My Story

Sooo....
I'm and American-British-Filipino (Mum's Filipino, Dad's American-British).
I've been afraid of people and what hey think of me since I was a really young girl, maybe 8?
Because I used to be fat and people would just tell me that.
Relatives.
School-mates.
It would make me cry... and cry... and cry... until I would fall asleep at night.

At 13, I wanted to be homeschooled because I couldn't handle the pain of bully so I asked my dad ( I lived with him at that time in America ) if I could and he'd always say yes to what I want so I became homeschooled.

But it wasn't until I was 14 when I started cutting. At first, I was afraid. But with that one slit. It felt painful. But the good kind of pain.

When I was 15, I started eating very very little and my mum ( I moved to her in Britain when my Dad died but would occasionally go to the Philippines ) got worried, so I ate and ate normally, but I would throw it uplater.

Same year, I got depressed for no reason. But it was okay for me. I'd just always cry and cry and cry. I would still throw up everything I'd eat and it really didn't feel okay.

I didn't know the Homeschool I was in didn't have senior high ( I don't think any home school does ) so I was forced to go back to school. I didn't like it cause I was afraid of what people would think of me.

When I was 19, my guy best friend ( Louie/Louis ) caught me cutting. He was shocked and immediately grabbed the blade from mg hands and I couldn't ever cut again. I remember it like it was yesterday, playing like a movie in my head.

So that's my story. The whole anxiety thing was gone at that same year because I finally opened up to him and it felt amazing cause there was no weight on my shoulders anymore. I'm now 21 living life to the fullest.

If you ever need help, open up to someone. Normally, people would say that you should talk to your parents or anyone in your family about stuff like this but sometimes, it isn't them. Like in my case. Cause I used to look at my parents and siblings as perfect and it made me feel self-consious and I never had confidence in myself.

Actually, I met Louis in probably 1st Grade or even earlier and we both became really good friends. Until now we still are cause we've always studied in the same schools.

I never really knew that Louis would be the person I'd open up to but one thing I always knew was that he knew me so well, he read me like an opened book.

Like any cheesy story would go, me and Louis both like each other but I promised myself and my dad that I'd finish studies first before I date and Lou knew that cause Dad was also like his father too. Because apart from us studying in the same schools, Mum, Dad, Clara and Leo happen to also be good friends when they were younger too. And me and Louie being friends from school led them to meet again.

LUV YA GUYYSS!!! ❤️❤️❤️

-Lizzie xx