Jokes About Twilight

1. City of Forks. Population 3,175. Vampires 8.5

2. Forget princess, I want to be a vampire when I grow up

3. Wait a minute.... He's hundreds of years old, he only comes out at niht, and he might have the power of flight.... OMG, Santa's a vampire!

4. Real men don't sparkle. Real men defeat dark wizards.

5. I wish I could La Push you off a cliff, Jacob... Well, Imma stick a Forks in you, Mike... Bella: Wrost puns ever

6. WARNING: Having a vampire may be hazardous to your health.

7. Blondes may have more fun, but Edward perfers brunettes. :)

8. Bella: Lamb. Edward: Lion. Jacob: Dog. Alice: Cat. Jasper: Fox. Emmett: Bear. Carlisle: Panda. Esme: Tiger. Rosalie: Peacock.

9. Cullen Boys.... They just don't make them like that anymore.

10. Someone told me today.... "Twilight is taking over your life." My reply... "And your point is...?"

11. When life gives Edward lemons, he throws them at Jacob.

12. "I know what you are. You're pale white and ice cold...."

      "Say it...."

      "Vanilla ice cream..."

13. You think your life sucks? Well, I'm in love with a 100 year old non-existant vampire.

14, Taylor Lautner: Dude, she's totally checking me out! She's gving me the look...

      Robert Pattinson: Dude, she's wearing a Team Edward shirt....

 15. Halfway through New Moon, I started screaming..... "Where's Edward!?"

16. I went to the doctor the other day... and called him Carlisle.

17. Bella doesn't want no mutt...... she's a fang banger!

18. Emmette ate the Jonas Brothers for breakfast

19. Which November event is important to you?

             [  ] The 2012 Election

             [X] The Twilight Movie

20. Rated V for Vampire