In another world

Your mom wouldn't be dead, she would be with you on your registration day for college.
In another world
You wouldn't smoke because your mother made you quit
In another world
You would be a social butterfly
In another world
You would be careful
In another world
You would reveal your smile to strangers
In a another world
You would sing out loud and wouldn't care who heard
In another world
You would have lived a miraculous life filled with more than one flower
In another world
You and I would be together

I slowly looked at the words I wrote down on a piece of paper, I realized I drooled over some of them. But I looked over the last part, I felt like someone was squeezing my heart as I reread it.

"Why would I even write this" I whined as I tore the paper, it was cold and half of it was sloppy because of my drool. My face was heated and tears were already running down my cheeks, each year it gets harder and my feelings grow numb. I even dropped out of college, and moved to Amsterdam to get away to get a new start . But I couldn't have that, a new start with her is what I want and all I need.  

'I can't have you'