I visit your grave after the college reunion I crashed, your boyfriend moved on so did our friends but I didn't. I felt like a loser watching them with their families or loved ones, felt like a total freak telling everyone I dropped out. I mention you and they all grow solemn but even mentioning you caused me to go outside to smoke, I'm crying while the nicotine calms my nerves but also makes my whines sound raspy. You could say I self destruct all those years but I did, I'm not going to blame you I'm going to blame myself. A part of me has moved on, I'm no longer a virgin and I'm seeing this nice girl. But I just keep having a problem with her, even though she is beautiful and perfect and deserves so much better I have a problem.
She isn't you and she'll never be you, Alaska
YOU ARE READING
In another world
FanfictionShort story I wrote after the events of looking for Alaska
