TW: mentions of suicide,
drugs, alcohol abuse
A/N Hey guys this is the first part of this little "project" I decided to do..it's not a book or story it's just something I want to do to be able to vent and share my inner thoughts of things I've been through or certain dreams I've had.
I hope you guys like this I'm not a good writer or anything like that so I'm sorry for any errors. Another thing is in this piece I say "they" and I wanted to clarify I'm talking about more than one person because some will see it as I'm using non-binary pronouns but I'm not I'm actually speaking of multiple people I just wanted to clarify that.
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I don't know why they're still inside of my mind...in my thoughts. I tell myself I've moved on but the slightest thing, such as a song, brings back all the pain and memories of them. They never cared about me. They never loved me. It's always been one sided, always seems to what I attract. Because of them I've given up on ever finding someone, someone to love me like how I loved them. I still think it's me, I'm the problem. I know its not all the way true which is why I do things differently each time. Nothing seems to work, nothing changes. I just end up hurt in the end, crying my heart out blaming myself and having more regrets to add on to the old ones. Is it me, am I the reason why they end up disappointing me in the end? I thought it was my looks, so I eventually started becoming obsessed with my appearance. That didn't work. I assumed it was my personality, so I changed who I was. I ended up hurting myself even more so that way after everything crashed down. Started doing things I swore I'd never do just to impress them. Drinking, constantly. Which caused me to hurt myself even more because I lost special people I'd thought that would never hurt me. Even considered drugs just to impress them, even though drugs was how one of them hurt me. I told them, "I love you", before swallowing my meds because I was tired of it all. The one who hurt me when drugs we involved, told me " I hope you sent this to the wrong person..". Right then and here I was broken and finally realized, no one will ever love me the way I loved them.
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The Inside
No FicciónSo there's no actual plot or anything really..this book is gonna be about random thoughts and dreams that I have but simply just to sum it up this will be a way I vent and relieve some things going through inside my mind constantly. I'll update when...
