SSN (Short Stories of Nonsense)

The Crap Man

Hi! This is my first story here and it's just one-shots. But I think it'll be hilarious! Hopefully XD Some of them will be kind of serious at the beginning...

ENJOY IT. LOVE IT. LICK IT.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------                                                        Story 1) The Crap Man

       He had no idea on how he got here. All he knew was that last night he was with his son Ternapa. (A/N I know it's a beautiful name ;) )  But unknown to him this was actually 4 days later from that very night.

This man's name is Thomas. But I'll call him Tom XD Cause I'm lazy like that. Ahem... We're getting off track. Tom looked around and saw that he was actually on the MOON!

He gasped, in awe of the beauty and view and also of freight of not knowing how he got there. He looked behind himself and saw that there was indeed a spaceship behind him. And so he got inside of it, it took him a while to map out the spaceship's structures.

He got to the lounge of the spaceship and saw that there was a man there. Tom walked up to that man and asked obvious questions, "WHY THE HELL AM I HERE? HOW HOW DID I GET HERE? AND WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?"

The man glanced at Tom with an expression which obviously stated, "Are you a madman?"

Tom then calmed himself down knowing that if he did otherwise he wouldn't get answers. Rather the man in front of him would run away in fear. Then Tom questioned in a calmer tone of voice,"Can I ask you why I am here? I don't recall signing up for this..."

The other man spoke back saying, " You'll figure out on your own... I haven't found out myself... I woke up here not knowing a thing... Like you. Soon I got used to my life here, and I think I'll find out the reason I'm here one day."

"So.... When did we get here?" Tom asked.

"Four days ago. Or so.... ", The man answered but continued talking after remembering a certain thing," Wait I haven't introduced myself. My name is Conner McFinley, and I hope we can get along."

"Hello Conner my name is Thomas Carnal, but people call me Tom.", Tom said back.

After having a little chit chat, Conner noticed something very peculiar. "Tom.... I want to check something outside, I have a bad feeling."

"Wait! Let me come along with you," Tom followed Conner and they had a shocking scene to witness.

What Conner and Tom saw was terrifying, they saw a meteor heading torwards Earth

After what seemed to be forever the meteor crashed into the Earth's surface and the Earth exploded into pieces. Conner had a horrified expression. Tom had a strange look on his face. They looked at what used to be their home...

"N-NO!!! WHY?! M-M-MY FAMILY!!!", Conner cried for a while and went near the ship but not inside. The ship didn't have much gap between Tom so Conner could still hear what Tom was saying.

The following words were spoken by Tom, "HAHAHAHA! Serves you right Earth!!! Now you can't make me suffer any longer! No job! No wife and kids to look after! I'M FREE!!!"

What Conner said next made Tom STFU for a while, "You do realize if we don't have Earth we'll die here because of the lack of supplies?"

And so Tom said, "Oh Crap"

Later, centuries later on planet Zukopo there are aliens talking at a cafe.

"Have you heard? There's a new display at the museum!"

"What's it called?"

"Oh it's called, "The Oh Crap Man" it's a skeleton of a pathetic human ^_^"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Please look forward to the next one-shot! I'll have more stories that are hopefully just as awesome! Or even BETTER XP