"Why do I need to remember? What do I need to remember?" I ask, suddenly frustrated.
"Okay, first of all, calm down," John says.
"Don't tell me to calm down," I say, even more frustrated than before. "I mean, how can I remember if I can't even remember?"
"Alright, I'm sorry," he says and places a hand over mine. It's reassuring but I'm still confused so I pull away slowly and start pacing.
"What do I have to do?" I ask.
"Look at the picture, the scenery, us. Just look at it," he says.
I get up and walk back over to the picture slowly. "I don't see how this can help if I've already looked at it."
"That was before you knew for sure. It's us, Anna. We knew each other. You have to think about it. I mean, really think about it. Please."
"I'm trying," I say quietly. I decide to take his advice. I stare at the picture, realizing that we're at what looks like a park. I notice some other things I hadn't spotted before... We're holding hands like we're best friends, my head is thrown back in laughter and John is simply similing at me. My heart flutters and I feel something, almost like a tickle at the back of my brain. Something's missing. "How is it that I look so happy but I can't remember it?"
"You can remember it, Anna, if you want to."
"How? Is there any other way you can help trigger my memory? Do you know why I can't remember?" I ask, hoping he does.
"Focus on the picture a little bit longer and if you still don't remember, I'll try something else," his voice is soft. This is really important to him which for some reason, makes it really important to me.
I reach for the picture then stop and look back at John. "Do you mind if I take it down?"
"Whatever you need to do."
"Thanks," I say and grab the picture, removing it from it's hook on the wall. I don't take my eyes off of it as I walk back to the couch and sit next to John. "I can feel it there, in the back of my mind but I don't know what it is or how to get to it."
"You can do it. I have faith in you," he says with a smile.
I try to smile back but I don't think I deserve that vote of confidence so I try harder. "I'm not so sure that you should."
He doesn't answer, he just puts his hand on my back and watches me. I stare at it, trying to envision myself there that day, enjoying the sun at a big park with John. The harder I try, the more intense my head ache becomes. "God, this isn't working. You said there might be another way though, right?"
"Possibly," he says. I feel his hand on mine a few seconds later. At first he seems unsure but then he moves fingers in between mine and grips my hand softly. My first instinct is to pull away and say there's no way that was going to work but I doubt he would've done it if there wasn't some reason behind it. I decided to trust him and frankly, I didn't really want to let go of him. I close my eyes and focus on our hands. Just as I begin to doubt my thoughts, I'm there.
I'm running toward the park with John and we're holding hands. Next thing I know we both trip and fall into a pile of mud. We roll onto our backs, laughing and it's odd because if it were just me, I would've cried and ran to my dad. But John makes me feel stronger, even though I'm six and he's seven. It feels right for us to be together. We get up and I laugh even harder when I see what he looks like covered in mud. He smiles at me and grabs my hand again. A flash goes off and I'm back.
"Whoa. That was... Overwhelming," I say and notice that I'm gripping his hand way too hard. "Oh, I'm sorry." I loosen my grip.
"I don't mind. You remember, don't you?" he asks with a hint of a grin.
"Who took the picture?"
"What?"
I pull my hand out of his and grab the picture. "I asked who took the picture."
"Your father took that picture... You didn't see him?" he looks confused.
"No," I say firmly. "All I saw was us running, falling and then a flash went off and I didn't see anything after that."
"That's not really unpredictable. It'll most likely come back in bits now."
I ignore his comments. "My dad was there? So then he knows about you. I'll just go home and I'm sure he'll explain all of this to me. Maybe I hit my head or something and that's why he didn't feel the need to tell me."
I start to stand up and he grabs me by the arm and says, "No."
"Come on. Are you gonna tell me he had something to do with me forgetting?" I roll my eyes. "Don't be ridiculous."
His grip tightens and his breath is on my cheek when he says, "He didn't want you to remember, Anna."
