Shattered Thoughts/One-Shots (Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier)

Nightmares

   Willow didn't often move in her sleep, in fact she was like an immovable brick wall once she was asleep. Given that she was paralyzed from the waist down, it wasn't unusual for her to be still as death while she slept. In fact, Bucky had developed a habit of waking up periodically in the middle of the night to make sure she was still  breathing. Tonight Willow's fists were clenched, wrapped tight in the sheets, her breathing was fast, and ragged. Her eyes were clenched shut and her face was lined with pain. 

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  The  wheels of Willow's wheelchair crunched over the gravel, a noise which Willow had long since adjusted to, yet tonight it was irritating. Willow felt strange, something weird about where she was; it was completely deserted. Her head had begun to hurt, she wondered where Bucky was, hoped he was alright. Willow didn't like this feeling, something was wrong. 

  She rolled her wheelchair down the path, she didn't know where she was, so she might as well follow the only path there was. The path led to a warehouse, Willow shoved the door open with her telekinesis, and saw something that nearly made her heart stop. 

   Willow was staring up at herself. Not herself as she was now, but  at what she had looked like twenty years ago. Willow of today would not have been recognizable to Willow of 10 years ago. A Willow with her long silver hair in two braids, one on each side, and her health problems showing clearly through her lack of weight. Willow's blue eyes were kind and calm, as though unfazed by what they saw. This was the Willow of today, the Willow who was trapped in a wheelchair. In front of her was standing a younger Willow, a crueler Willow. Willow from the past had short, choppy silver hair, cut with a knife, and her bangs hung down over her face. She was tall, her body thickly muscled and tensed as though ready to be attacked, her blue eyes were wary, like a cornered animal. This was what Willow had been ten years ago, when she'd been scared and angry and broken.

  Willow stared down at her past self, noticing that she held a silver knife. Bright, scarlet blood  dripped down the blade. 

 "What have you done?" Willow gasped.

    Willow's own eyes stared back at her, emotionless empty. "I've taken care of a problem. Isn't that what we do?"

    Willow steered her wheelchair past herself, looking at what was behind. There were several bodies laying on the ground, each with their throats cut. The pooling blood on the ground soaked the wheels of Willow's wheelchair. Leaning down, Willow stared in horror at their faces. 

  Steve. Warren. Natasha. Clint. Then worst of all.... Lulu.

  "What? What are you doing?" Willow said, unable to breath.

 "I'm just doing what you would do anyway," Willow retorted.

"Maybe...maybe other people. But not Lulu, I would never hurt Lulu. Not now, not twenty years ago and not twenty years from now."

"You really are weak. Look at you, If I'd ever though I'd turn into this, I'd have killed myself."

 Willow felt a strong urge to slap her younger self, but she was reminded that she couldn't even reach her face. Couldn't get out of this prison chair.

 "Pathetic. Maybe I didn't kill them. Maybe you just couldn't protect them. Because you've become weak. Not just physically, but mentally. Our abilities used to be so strong, now you hesitate to use them at all."

  "Because I don't want to hurt anyone."

"You couldn't save them. You can't save them."

   The image of the bodies faltered, and another body appeared. Bucky's body.

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    Willow snapped awake, gasping, and shaking. Tears rolled down her cheeks, and her hands were shaking. Bucky grabbed her arm with his good hand, "Hey. Willow, you alright?"  

  Willow's normally calm silvery blue eyes were unfocused, and widened with fear. Bucky shook her gently, "Willy, what did you dream about?"

  "You... you were dead. So was Lulu, and Steve. I couldn't save you," Willow started sobbing. Willow wasn't someone who cried often, and she never cried because she herself felt scared, but because she was scared for someone else. 

   So Bucky wrapped his arm around her, and pulled her closer to him, trying to make her feel safe.  "It's okay Willow. I'm here, everyone's okay."