Shattered Thoughts/One-Shots (Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier)

Dreams- Part 1

    Willow stared at Bucky as he sat alone on their back porch, staring blankly out over the yard. Bucky hadn't slept for nearly three days, and it was beginning to take it's toll. Willow knew what it was like to be sleep deprived, she had insomnia and had spent half of her life in a state of extreme sleep deprivation. But what was going on with Bucky was different, it wasn't that Bucky couldn't sleep, it was that he wouldn't. 

 "Bucky," Willow said, steering her wheelchair out onto the desk and parking it next to Bucky. "You need to sleep."

 Bucky's eyes were bloodshot and there were dark circles under his eyes, his skin was pale and sweaty. He looked almost like he was sick. He was looking at Willow, but his eyes were unfocused.

 "Okay there big guy. You really need to sleep," Willow smoothed Bucky's hair back from his forehead. "I mean, I know that sometimes you just can't sleep. I've ended up smearing red and black paint on a canvas in what could be considered a cult symbol and then crying over an animated movie while eating of a massive block of cheese."

  Bucky smiled at Willow's absurd string of words. Like always, Bucky's smiles meant the world to Willow.

  "Bucky, talk to me. I know somethings going on with you."

 "Nothings wrong Willow," Bucky's voice was hoarse and ragged with exhaustion. "I'm fine."

"No your not," Willow's voice became more insistent, "I can sense your worry and pain coming off you in waves. So tell me what's going on."

   "I want to tell you Willow- I really do, please believe me. But I," Bucky's voice broke, "I can't."

 Willow threaded her fingers through Bucky's right hand, squeezing his hand comfortingly. "Okay, but when your ready, I'm right here."

   Bucky let his head rest on Willow's shoulder, "I love you Willow."

  Willow was slightly surprised, "I love you too Bucky. Whatever is wrong, we can fix it. I know your afraid to sleep, and you won't tell me why. But I also know that pretty soon you might collapse from exhaustion. Come inside. Please."

 Bucky nodded, getting up slowly and followed Willow inside and into their living room. Willow slid out of her wheelchair and onto the couch, patting the seat next to her. "If you won't sleep, then at least sit."

  Bucky collapsed onto the couch, his body language betraying how exhausted he was. Every time Bucky's eyelids began to close, he'd snap them open again, a look of panic in his eyes. Then the pieces clicked together in Willow's head, Bucky didn't want to sleep because of a nightmare. Willow was used to Bucky's nightmares, memories of the crimes he'd committed as the Winter Soldier, but she guessed this one was different. 

 "Your having a nightmare aren't you? You've always told me about your nightmares before, what makes this one any different?" Willow said softly, wrapping one of her arms around Bucky's broad shoulders as best she could.

 Bucky shuddered, "Because it's not a memory."

  "Alright." Willow let Bucky rest his head on her shoulder. 

  Bucky took a shuddering breath and began to speak, "I kill you. In my dream, the Winter Soldier takes control and I kill you. I watch your blood pool onto the floor."

  Willow pushed down the slight surge of shock and decided that humor would be one of the best ways to help Bucky feel better, "First off Barnes, there is no way that you would be able to kill me. I'm too tough for that."

 "I know, I know Willow. I just, I don't want to have to watch you die every time I close my eyes."

 "So let me help you, alright Bucky?"

 "Alright."