Yogscast / Xephmadia Song-Shots

Xephmadia: Forest Fires - Lauren Aquilina

-----Author's Note-----

If you read my Xephmadia One-Shots, If you don't, then you should totally check it out! ;) , this takes place 2 years before To Hell and Back. Just so you have some idea of when this is taking place.

Enjoy!

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I don't have much to say,

There's nothing in this name,

Sorry to disappoint again,

Nobody pines for the listener,

A thrill I've failed to deliver.

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"I can't keep doing this, it's like I'm talking to a wall! I say something and try to fix our relationship and you never respond! How are we supposed to fix anything if we don't work together Hannah?!" Lewis's question brought tears to the blonde girl's eyes, she knew he was right, and yet...she couldn't react. All she could do as listen, she had known for quite some time that their relationship was doomed, and she didn't want to face it, because she didn't know how to fix it. "We have to do something..." The breaking of emotion in her boyfriend's voice hurt her more than any physical blow ever could have.

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And whilst I watch in silence,

You're starting forest fires,

You start them just to feel the heat.

And whilst I keep my quiet,

You're running with the tigers,

You're running just to run from me.

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Hannah sat to the side of the common room the day after the emotionally breaking conversation. She was making sure the camera stayed in focus as Lewis and Simon acted out one of their rare live-action skits. Though for some reason the raven-haired co-founder seemed distant and less responsive than usual, especially to Hannah's cue markers.

As Lewis once again missed one of the cues she directed, the room was shocked by his outburst, "What's the point in doing these if I can't get them right! I can't seem to do anything right!" Without another word he dashed from the room, leaving most of its inhabitants agape, but Hannah was the only one that fully understood his reaction, why he thought he 'couldn't do anything right.'

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The people on this train,

Already made up their minds about me,

I can already feel their hate.

The stranger, his sorrow,

Must be fault of my own.

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Lewis wouldn't even look at Hannah on their ride home; they sat in a devastating silence, which made her want to cry out to her boyfriend. A simple glance would have been enough for her to know that he didn't hate her, and yet he never looked her way.

The blonde girl knew it as her fault that he was doing this...why he felt the way he did. He was distancing himself from her. She knew all too well what that meant, she had watched couples come and go, and this was no different. This was the start to their inevitable break-up. She knew she was losing Lewis, and she didn't know how to stop it...he almost felt like a stranger to her now.

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And whilst I watch in silence,

You're starting forest fires,

You start them just to feel the heat.

And whilst I keep my quiet,

You're running with the tigers,

You're running just to run from me.

And I don't blame you...(x3)

Who would wanna be around me? (x3)

-----

"Hannah...we both know this isn't working...we can't keep doing this...or at least I can't." Lewis sounded distraught.

She blinked up at him, her eyes filled with tears, "I know...it's not fair to you...it seem like I don't try-"

"Please try! I don't want this to end!" The man she knew that had strived past everything with ease to achieve everything he had, was desperate. He was grasping at straws trying to find some way to mend the unfixable.

Tears spilled over onto the girl's cheeks, "I do try, it might not seem like it to you, but I do! My silence is my trying!"

"How is staying quiet trying to fix our relationship?!" He sounded both depressed and angry.

She tried to look him in the eye as she spoke, but she couldn't find the confidence within herself to do so, "Because I don't deserve you! I never have! I knew that from the start and I didn't want to say anything to lose you! I knew I would in the end because you deserve far better than the likes of me, and I didn't know how to deal with what I couldn't fix! You're the founder and boss of something so much bigger and better than I could ever achieve, I just follow in your wake as I always have! It's all I know how to do!"

Lewis looked both hurt and angered, "Then it's time you learned to walk on your own." He turned and headed for the door, "I really didn't want this to end, I didn't want things to be this way, but if all I am for you is a guiding leash, then this has to end."

"No! That not what I m-" Hannah tried to get him to see reason, but he was already out the door, leaving their relationship behind him.

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-Xephina The Eleven