The Town of Anton

Chapter Eleven

How could I solve everything? How could I possibly be the reason why species gained more power?
                 
When I was told I was a werewitch, I thought it would be simple. But now, all thoughts led to mayhem. Especially with Adam who spent several hours trying to convince Deacon of staying here to protect me.
                 
That's exactly what I need. Two boyfriends, I said in my head, laughing at the idea of having two boyfriends.
                 
Pansy asked as she entered my room, "Can you hear the argument going on downstairs?"
               
"Loud and clear," I replied.
                  
I was getting better at my abilities to hear and smell. And the fact that I could hear every word irritated me.  Like why couldn't they act civil and make amends?
                  
She took a seat on the bed and smirked at me. "You must be very special, since they have been fighting over you all day!"
                  
"They aren't fighting over me." Denial swallowed me in one piece, but to ignore the truth was worse than denial.
                 
"They've been arguing for five hours!"
                  
"That doesn't mean it's about me," I told her. "And besides, even if they were, I don't think they would argue where they know we can hear them."
                  
"That's where you're wrong." Pansy snickered. "Listen."
                  
As I concentrated on their voices, I could hear my name.
                  
Adam was the first voice I heard. "Saige needs me right now."
                 
"What she needs is protection."
                 
"You act like you know her better than me."
                 
"Because I do," Deacon retorted.
                
"Then why do I have the feeling she doesn't love you?"
               
"We aren't like that," I answered, walking in. It was awkward, but worth it. I had to put a stop to this before someone got hurt. "Adam can stay here. But Deacon, stop being stubborn."
                 
"I'll stop being stubborn when you stop inviting strangers into our home."
                 
"I invited you in." I smiled at him in victory, then left the room.
                 
Pansy grinned. "You really are a werebitch."
                 
I didn't reply and walked past her. And just the thought of having full control over my actions thrilled me.

                   ...
                 
I was on a bench in the perfect white gazebo in the backyard. The roof over my head caused memories to pour in like a stream. My dad built this gazebo from scratch. He was a skilled worker, very liked by his companions. And to him, I was his little helper. I would hand him tools for a batch of cookies in return. I was really young, like five years old, when I got hooked on chocolate chip cookies for a whole week. That was the longest I've spent with my dad before he got his job as a businessman.
                 
I was so hung up on my thoughts that I jumped to the sight of someone next to me.
                 
Adam held back a laugh. "Dang, are you always this nervous?"
                 
"You startled me."
                 
"Well, you can sit back down." I hesitated to sit until he said, "I don't bite."
                 
"Yeah, but you can sting," I countered.
              
He took my hand. "Is it because I came here?"
                 
"And not in the best way either," I added, feeling his thumb rub my knuckles so smooth and passionately. It was then that I realized I spoke my thoughts out loud. "I'm sorry."
                 
"Don't worry about it," he said, reminding me of our first kiss.
                 
Then a huge smile appeared on his face. It was charming, yet intense. I didn't want to remember loving him.     That feeling was gone. My heart belonging to him...that feeling was now for another. Someone who my heart belonged to just as much.
                 
Adam started to lean forward. All signs led to kissing. But I couldn't kiss him. I just couldn't let him take that part of me away; the part of me that changed a long time ago.
                
And before he reached my lips, I pushed him away gently. I felt relief as I said, "We can't do this."
                
He fell back against the bench. "Why, because you have feelings for that idiot?"
                
"I'm sorry," I replied, biting my lip nervously as if to express my sympathy. It must hurt him to know that I love Deacon, even if I'm not sure of it myself.
               
"But I still love you, Saige."
               
His response is exactly why he stings. He didn't have to bite when his sting caused more damage. I felt agony at the thought of him loving me, because I wasn't able to love him back. And it hurt. Just like the sting, this hurt was stiff and deep.
               
"You can't love me," I said as tears blurred my vision. A tight pain in my throat prevented the tears from falling, yet I didn't care. I needed to speak to someone about this, even if that someone was Adam.
               
His eyes tormented me. "Why?"
               
"Because I'm not the type of person someone falls in love with." The tears began to fall down my cheek. "No one can love me, because I'm a monster. And I don't expect anyone to understand, because I don't even understand. My parents died because of me, you're here because of me, and Deacon and Pansy are risking their lives because of me. I can't help but feel like everyone around me might die because of me."
               
"What you're feeling is guilt," Adam said, touching my shoulder. "And I know the feeling quite well."
               
"What happened?"
               
"Your death," he answered. "I thought I jinxed it."
               
"But you didn't?"
               
He smiled. "And I couldn't be happier about that."

                 ...
                
Hours later, I couldn't stop imagining his smile. The way he simpered with pleasure and happiness only allowed me to see more of his pain. He faked a smile to lure me in, but why did I feel myself being compelled to his seduction?
                
Anticipation guided me to the bookcase. Flashlight in hand, I wished for the shelf to open and entered the secret library.
                
With no windows casting a light, I made another wish. The stone-made fireplace with dusty rims sparked ashes and lit a flame.
                
It was enough to see, yet with my topic being love, I knew the search would take longer than just a few minutes. There were millions of books, millions of genres, and millions of wonderful adventures to explore within every corner of the room.
                
And the genre I was searching for was love, or how to love. Because it's confusing, I said in my head, reminding myself.
               
But after two hours of looking, it was in fact exhausting. Every shelf had been ordered chronologically within its genre and there were no books to teach me what I'm feeling right now. Love, like most other feelings, had a way of trapping my mind.
               
This only left me helpless when footsteps sounded nearby. I tucked my flashlight in my back pocket and moved at rapid speed to the nearest bookshelf. I needed to hide.
  
"Saige?" The voice calling out my name was familiar.
            
"I'm right here," I replied.
              
Deacon, with concern in his eyes, embraced me in his arms. When there was only warmth coming from his cold touch, it caused me to falter and submit to his sincere affection.
               
And although my thoughts remained uncertain, I did know one thing...that my heart belonged to him.
               
The white flecks in his gray eyes showed the innocence as he pulled me in for a kiss. It was the unexpectedness of it all that made me feel alive. I was drawn to him like gravity. The attraction was electrifying. It was almost like floating in space.
               
"Sis?" I thought the voice was in my head until I saw him. I saw someone so close to home that I should have sensed his presence. It was Alex, my little brother.