PAPER GIRL

Dear margo,

I'm sitting in my office, on a very comfortable chair. My cat is sleeping under my desk.
I hear my children laugh and play with my wife. Yeah, I said wife. We fell in love on the second year of college, she's my age and she's beatiful.

After you left me alone, not calling me back and ignoring me I rember I thought nobody was going to love me anymere. But then Joe came up from nowhere proving me wrong.
The first thing I told her, after saying hi, was "oh cool, you have a man name". No, I wasn't really thinking on what I was saying. After telling her that, I was prepared to her saying goodbye. I've been such a fool, again. The same old Q, you'd say.

She did not. She stayed exactly where she was, laughing and saying that yeah, she had. I found it wonderful.
I didn't stop thinking about you just because she came into my life. Everyday I was telling myself I would have left her without any problem if you would have come back. And that was true, but also terribly hurtful. So I tried to forget you. I did everything in my power to let you go away from my mind.

Finally, after years, I asked Joe to marry me because I was feeling it and not because I thought she was you. We now have two beautiful children and a normal boring life. I'm a History teacher and she works in a Mall. We pass our days talking about the same things. Our works, Luke and Margareth, the weather. Noting special, nothing new.
We go on holidays in places you would absolutely not like,, an nor I do. But my family is happy, so I guess I should be happy too.

You are may asking yourself why do I wrote you this letter if I have forgot you. Well, the truth is that I obviously did not forget you at all, as you can see. 

I guess I will always love you and always miss you.
I guess I still imagine you coming back.
I guess I'm asking myself again if I would left Joe and my life if you come back.
The most shocking thing is that the answer is an hundred percent yes. I would. I defenitely would.

Margo Roth Spiegelman, if you love someone like I did with you, you'll never stop.
The sunset remembers me of when you kissed me, your lips against mine and I forgot the entire Universe. The rain remebers me of your tears, that I kissed away proving you I could make you happy and make you feel better.
Autumn's colors rember me of your plae skin and the smell before the rain remembers me of your parfume.

I wrote this letter just to tell you I love you. I still do. Like a 19 years old boy, I'm begging you to come back and save me. And I hope that- if you haven't alrready found it, one day you'll love someone like I love you. You will know when he will be the one, because whenever you think about him your chest will burn and your heart will race and your mind will be so fucked up that, even if he looks at you you and try to make you understand he needs to be saved... you will just look like an idiot, but that idiot is gonna save that person, voluntarily or not.

I just need to be myself again, I know you can understand.
This is a goodbye, Margo. If you don't come and save me this time, I will disappear from your life once and for all. I will love you silently for the rest of my life.

All the love, yours sencerely

Q