230
230 what?
230 hugs?
230 smiles?
230 "I love you"s?
No.
No that is not what I am worth that is not what others see
when they see me walking down the hall smiling with my friends.
They do not see my passion for writing or
my tendency to prioritize others above myself or the fact that
those who know me call me the mother of the group they do not know that I
I have walked through the dark fog that is depression that I know all too well the feeling of panic when I
am safe I am so safe but my mind betrays me and signals
DANGER!
They did not witness me placing myself in the line of fire to protect my brother from the glare of our father.
They were not there with me when I ended a friendship because their safety was more important to me than all the plans we had made.
They were not there when I faked being sick because I spent the night talking my friend out of death which made me feel like the walking dead but I still smiled for their sake.
They were not there when I ended a relationship not only for the respect I have for myself but to set an example that pressure will get you no where and that if you say no you mean
No.
Not convince me.
They do not know of my PCOS
My PTSD
My thyroid is perfect to their knowledge and I'm "just a fatass that won't stop eating because she's so pitiful I mean look at her she can't even fit into normal clothes no one could love her if she looks like that watch out here comes the whale!"
They don't see me all they see is these rolls and floppy arms my ever present double chin and the way my legs make sound loud as thunder when I walk in a silent room.
They don't know that my legs although they have extra padding they are my muscle they are what carry me when I feel like falling they are strong
I am strong.
They don't see me.
They only see 230 pounds.
But they do not define my worth.
I do.
YOU ARE READING
My poems
PoetryThese are some of the poems I've written lately, I don't have a schedule for updates.
