You start to notice the little things, the way I grasp anything to steady myself constantly. Or how I hold my breath without realizing it, grabbing my hand when you see me biting my cuticles. You do your best, trying to fix me. I let you, in hope that you will succeed. But what if I don't want to be fixed? What if I pull away when you grab my hands, what if i look the other way when you look at me? what am i suppose to do? what do you want me to do? please, tell me your thoughts. tell me your the ocean inside your brain because on the outside i can tell the waves are crashing against the sides, but you still won't tell me why. why? i start to notice the little things, the way you pull away when i try to touch you. or the way you start to sway whenever you come home at night, or the smell of chemicals drenched on your clothes. this is when i realize that things are not okay. we are broken, and we are hope that if we can be fix each other then it will be alright. but how can i fix someone else if i can't fix myself?
