About Me

My Loneliness

Now even though I mentioned all of those friends from before, I still suffer from loneliness and depression. (If you read this story's description you see an example..)

I've also been told by several people that I have self esteem problems. If you read my summer camp tales story, I talked about a smart kid in my class whose code name I referred to as Tyler. Or Taylor. It doesn't matter, it was a code name.

But anyway, he said this to me the other day:

T: So what did you do for the science project?
Me: I wrote a poem.
T: I can picture you doing that.
Me: Because I'm in chorus?
T: Well, it's like your personality.
Me:What do you mean? (JB hello)
T: I don't know, you seem like the kinda person who'd write,"The mitochondria breaks down energy like darkness breaks down my soul."

Again. I'm not trying to be emo.

Maybe it's the clothing I wear, or the fact that I sit in the back of the classroom. Or maybe that I don't usually have people to talk to at lunch.

Whatever it is, I feel as if I try to hard to have friends. Whenever someone texts me I reply by asking follow up questions or ask how they're doing. I'm pretty sure they find me annoying because they find ways to end the conversation.

I'm working on my self esteem problems because "Cory",(again, not his name) got upset at me for joking on myself.

I honestly don't understand any of this, to be frank.

I want friends but I'm lonely. Or sometimes I'm lonely and make friends....