Suck My Lollipop

“Isn’t it great?” His words brought me back down to Earth and I forced a smile, trying to get through the shocking news I had just heard without breaking down.

“Shane… that’s… wonderful”, I replied after a minute, mentally scolding myself for letting my voice crack at the last word. He just grinned triumphantly, letting me know that he didn’t catch it.

“When’s the wedding”, I asked quietly and his grin dropped for a second. His hazel eyes looked concerned and I played it off, like I always did. He just smiled slightly.

“We haven’t decided yet… but I’ll let you know. You’re going to come, right Devin?”

“Of course…”

I really don’t want anything to do with it, Shane. Can’t you tell?

Chapter One

“Devin! Hi!” I whirled around to see a familiar face with a great complexion.

“Mamie”, I called out and she smiled, waving as she walked over to my side.

“I heard Sara and Shane are getting married. Is that true”, she asked and I swallowed hard, choking slightly on the lump that rose in the center of my throat.

“Yeah… great news”, I muttered. She gave me a quizzical look, arching a thin eyebrow.

“You’re kidding right? Devin I know yo-” She was interrupted by her phone ringing.

“I gotta go Mamie, I’ll call you later”, I began, turning and running off quickly before she could finish her sentence. I already knew what she was going to say.

“Where were you”, Shane asked when I walked into the room. I flinched slightly, turning to look at him.

“You’re home?”

“Obviously. Where were you, Devin?”

“I didn’t think you’d be home.” Shane was silent. His brown hair was brushed back out of his eyes and he had this strange look on his face that I’d never seen before.

“Well I am. Devin. Where were you?”

“Hanging out with Mamie, why do you care”, I snapped. It was his turn to flinch. He bit at his bottom lip.

“Where did you think I was going to be”, he asked suddenly. I shrugged.

“With your fiance maybe, I mean you two are getting married right?” I realized how angry I sounded but I didn’t care. He frowned, brushing a loose strand behind his ear.

“Hey! Is that was this is about”, Shane hissed. I was silent.

“What?! What did I do?! Are you that fucking selfish!? You don’t want me to move on with my life!? I can’t always be with you, Devin, you have to grow up!” I grit my teeth, clenching my fists until my knuckles turned white.

“Oh, I have to grow up?! You think I don’t know that?! Did you ever think about how maybe I wished I could always be near you… maybe I’m scared Shane”, I lashed out. He looked baffled for a minute but it was too late, I had already stormed out of the room.

“DEVIN!”

Maybe I’m scared of losing you, Shane...maybe that’s it.