Chapter 18: Bare Skin

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Loki P.O.V.

Hours had passed before sleep came to me but it gave me no comfort. I remained restless throughout the night. I forced myself to try to have at least an hour or two of rest when morning came and when I woke, Mandy was already preparing breakfast.

Cautiously, I approached her as she began to set the table. I had hoped things would somehow normalize if I conversed with her as if things were alright.

“Oh, hey. How are you feeling?” She suddenly asked before could even call her attention.

I took the plates she was holding and placed them on the table for her as I said, “What a strange choice of question. I am well.”

“Really?” She raised an eyebrow, showing that she was unconvinced.

I retuned her statement with, “Are you implying that I am lying to you?”

“After all that happened yesterday, I kind of assumed you’d still be upset.” Mandy said, causing me to remember just how sensitive Mandy was regarding my emotions. She knew me too well.

“Well you’re wrong.” I stated firmly, though the truth was that she was right.

In response, she rolled her eyes and walked away. It was evident that she was unhappy with me.

Remembering our conversation last night, I realized I had been very disrespectful and mean to her. My action just now seemed to have added fuel to the flame.

I could not allow things as they were. I was still in Mandy’s debt and could also not risk being kicked out of her home just yet. I had, after all, made new enemies.

Going after her, I tried to appeal to her saying, “I must apologize. I was very rude to you last night when you only wanted to help. Forgive me.”

Though still sounding unconvinced, she told me, “It’s not the first time you’ve yelled at me, Loki. Besides, you were pissed. I get it.”

Her statement made me cringe, recalling that I had done such things many times before.

“Then why does it seem like you are still unhappy with me?” I asked, trying to keep the conversation going before she could detect that I was beginning to feel guilty.

With a big sigh, she explained, “Because I know that you’re pretending. I’d rather that you were honest and angry rather than acting like yesterday was nothing.”

I looked away as I muttered, “It is in my nature to lie.”

“Like how you think you are a monster?” Mandy suddenly said, having heard me.

The mere mention of the word ignited a suppressed rage within me. What made it worse was that Mandy was using my own words against me, twisting it to support her own ideas. I knew such things too well. I did the same often.

In my anger, I raised my voice at her. “You know, I find it mind-boggling how you want me to tell the truth, and then insist that I believe in fallacy. Yes, I am a monster; yes I am a liar! That is a fact. Are you happy now?”

Though startled at first, she stood her ground and asked. “Who told you that you’re a monster?”

Unwilling to listen further, I yelled. “Why does that even matter!?”

I then stormed out of the kitchen, forgetting that I was trying to avoid conflict with her.

 “Loki, don’t walk away.” She called out but I ignored her.

Ever persistent, Mandy chased after me and grabbed my arm saying, “Loki, please, talk to me. I won’t judge you. Let me help.”

In my mind was a bitter laugh. Her words sounded like a desperate lie.

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