BlindSight: A Thor (Loki) Fanfiction

Chapter 21: Answers We Seek

Mandy P.O.V.

Sleep did not come to me as fast as it normally did. Despite my usual methods of falling asleep, nothing happened. It should not have been so hard to do since it had been a long day and all I really wanted was to rest. The problem was that it seemed my mind was still preoccupied with lingering thoughts: ones about what had happened between Loki and myself.

He had actually been the one who offered to dance first, which was weird, and then I suddenly started acting and feeling awkward about being so close to him. It was strange since it never really happened before. I held his hands often, I had hugged him from behind once and we had even shared a bed at one point.

Why was this time so different?

After a while of trying unsuccessfully to relax, I got up and grabbed a large lump of modeling clay to vent out my frustrations and clear my head.

Loki. From the moment we met, he had never been ordinary yet I was not fazed by it as much as I should have.

He was from some mythical land, raised as a prince and could change his form. His skin was cold but he wasn’t. His face was sharp and thin and he had a tall, long nose and deep eyes. He mentioned that they were green and that his slightly long hair was colored black.

Unbeknownst to me, I had been applying the physical description of Loki onto the clay in my hands as I poured out my thoughts.

Despite how different he was, I’ve never felt scared of him. He was always gentle with me. Sarcastic, sure; but never harsh.

The man was broken and pained yet was still willing to bear with me and my weird ways. The poor guy even took care of me when I was freaking out or sick. He even managed to make me share my traumatizing past when I tried hard to keep it hidden. It’s as if the more I try to help him, the more I expose myself; something that I have been afraid to do for so long.

And the weirdest part of it all was that opening up to him didn’t drive him away. He never judged me or saw me as anything other than what I was. Maybe it was because he felt sorry for me, or could relate through our shared sufferings. Our twisted pasts seemed to have turned us into puzzle pieces that fit too well.

But was that a good thing? Was being with another broken person a step toward healing? Or was it going to hold him back? Was it going to hold me back too?

I haven’t really put too much thought in my decision to help Loki. I knew I wanted to help him, but I’ve never really stopped to consider if I was doing the right thing. Was I forcing Loki into something he didn’t really want? What if my methods were wrong all along?

I took a deep breath, pausing my mental rant. The progressing thoughts were beginning to overwhelm me rather than calm me down. Deciding I needed a different distraction, I put the molded clay aside and headed to the kitchen for a glass of water.

Loki P.O.V.

The sheets did not give me the comfort I had hoped for. I was surely exhausted from all that had occurred but it seemed impossible to fall asleep.

Perhaps it was because I was still a little paranoid. After all, things rarely ended well for me and this day went a little too well. I should have been happy about it but there was some eerie feeling at the back of my mind that kept me wary. It was as if I wanted something bad to happen.

Forcing those fears aside, I tried to keep a clear mind so I could sleep. Through the darkness of closed eyelids however, the memory of the dance from earlier resurfaced.