Monika's POV
Old me would have never done any of the things I've done today. I just had sex with a guy I've known for like a month. Although I've been through a lot with him I don't even know if I have feelings for him.
We both laid in bed in silence for about 5 minutes before he spoke.
"When is your mom getting back?" He asked.
I thought for a minute, I really didn't know. She never told me anything. I'm almost positive she didn't really care about my existence.
"I don't know." I said back
"Do you have feelings for me?" I asked him not making eye contact.
"I don't know, do you?" That was a hard question I haven't quite got figured out.
"I..." I paused waiting for the answer to come to my head. I thought for about a second or two before Cameron said something.
"You don't have feelings for me?" He questioned.
"I didn't say that. Obviously if I didn't have some sorta feelings for you I wouldn't have slept with you, it's just, I don't know." I let him take my virginity. how did i feel about this?
"Wanna do something?" I asked
"Monika if we're gonna do this again I'll need some water or something to get my energy back." Cameron said dead serious.
"That's not what I meant." I rolled my eyes.
" I mean do you wanna go out and do something so I can prove to myself it wasn't a one night stand thing where we never talk again." I asked him.
"I hope it's not just one night." He got closer to my face. I put my hand in front of his face.
"I'm kidding." He backed away.
"How bout you and I go on a date tonight?" He suggested.
"Woah, is the Cameron Dallas asking me on a date?" I questioned jokingly.
He rolled his eyes.
"Both of us don't know if we have feelings for each other, maybe if we find out more about each other we can find out our answer." He suggested with a small smirk.
"Sounds like a good plan." I smiled at him.
I decided to get out of his bed and head home.
i left closing the door. i went in my house and recalled everything that just happened. i was thinking about it and do i regret it? no? that's kinda surprising i'm not one to do anything like this but i did and i don't care.
i thought about how i was going on a date with the cameron dallas. wow. who would have guessed. he flirted with me and i turned him down and now i'm going on a real life date with him? okay i can do this.
i looked in my closet. what do i wear for this? i've never been on a date. where are we even going? should i wear a normal outfit or something like a dress? oh my god my head is spinning. i think the anxiety was kicking in. i looked in the mirror , studying myself and i felt my eyes start to tear up a bit.
i hated myself. i just felt like i wasn't the perfect girl i could be. why did cameron want to go on a date with me.
i decided i better call him. i hated to sound annoying and bug him considering i was already always with him. i had no other choice, i had no other friends?
"did you forget something here?" he asked.
"uhh sorta. i forgot to ask you where we're going. i just don't know what to wear." i said shaky
