cry baby ; rarl

6

trigger warning! im here for you all, if you ever need to talk, im here. stay strong lovelies!!

it was now the next morning and carl wasnt motivated one bit to go to school.

he didnt want to face ron.

why did he think he was a girl?

all carl wanted to do was be treated like the human he is. thats all he was trying to do.

he shrugged getting out of bed, atleast it was friday. when he got home he could binge watch, his favorite show, supernatural, and eat strawberry ice cream.

but, all good thoughts have a terrible counter right?

he began to think about what if his dad found him. would be hurt again? he couldnt take another beating. he didnt want to hurt anymore. the thought of his dad finding him shot his anxiety through the roof and carl began to cry.

(italics are flashbacks)

a hard slap hit carl's cheek.

"p-pleas-e sto-"

"shut up you worthless thing. i thought you were my son, not my daughter" and now carl was kicked in the stomach.

"i-im sorry" carl cried.

"i told you to shut it!" his dad grabbed him and pushed him against the wall, punching him in the stomach. his whole body was throbbing.

an angry father of his, grabbed his bottle of whiskey and stook the last swig of it, then chucking it at the wall, almost hitting poor carl.

carl tensed up, he was terrified.

"here we go again! stop flinching you frickin wimp!" his dad laughed hysterically.

tears were pouring from carl's eyes like a waterfall.

"stop crying, you're such a cry baby!" and with that carl recived a punch in face, sending him straight to sleep.

carl snapped out of his flashback to find himself freaking out. he was sobbing a lot.

his phone dinged, but he ignored it. why do all the bad things happen to him?

still, he never understood why he was cursed with the life he had.

his mother ran in the room when she heard him cry.

"aw carl, whats wrong?" she ran to his aid.

"i cant do this mom-m" he cried.

"carl" she started to tear up, pulling carl into her arms. she blamed herself for everything that was done to him as a child. she shouldve left her ex husband sooner. this was her fault.

she didnt know what to do and she didnt have the heart to send him to school like this. she was a huge believer in mental health is just has important as physical.

"climb into bed honey bun, im going to get you some ice cream." his mom said.

carl was stunned. if this was last year, his dad wouldve scared him into going to school.

his mom brought him ice cream and left his room. she knew carl was a very "keep to himself" kind of person. being alone was his best friend.

he took out his diary and wrote about everything. he couldnt trust anyone. he wasnt even positive if he trusted enid, 100% yet. no matter how crazy that sounds.

dear myself,
so this morning i had a mental break down, with flashbacks of the past. i HATE flashbacks, i cannot stand them. they make me crazy and then my anxiety goes insane and the grand finale is when the depressed sets in. its a cycle. i feel like a timebomb. i have little outburts. but one day i feel like ill explode. i think i should seek medical help, if that could even be possible.

sincerely, the lost boy.