Warning: Could be triggering... I hope no offense is taken here, I don't intend to.
You sit there on the sofa, watching TV. Although, you couldn't concentrate. College had been absolutely terrible today, the same things over and over again. The things that happened daily, all verbal, physical and cyber bullying. Why? For no fucking reason. You sighed, rolling up both your sleeves and your trousers, both in pain as the bleeding had probably mostly stopped now, looking at the newly forming scars. You started to text your friend, Felix.
"I've done it. I've gone and fucking done it again. I'm so sorry, ugh." You text, tears forming in your eyes. "I'm such an idiot, I went against my promise." You suddenly burst out, as the text sends. You didn't intend to, when this stuff happens you just don't think about it, it's almost as it it's automatic towards you.
[BING]
"Don't be sorry, please don't feel bad. It wasn't intentional, don't feel bad at all xx" He replied, you know that inside it really does hurt him to know that you do these things to yourself, he thinks you don't deserve it, then again who does? You sigh and start to cry even harder. You had feelings for Felix, and going against your promises towards him hurt you just as much as it did him.
"I do feel bad, though. I really, really do. I make a promise, and I just go and break it again. All the time, to everyone." You reply, and sigh. Mascara now tearing down your face, you just curl up in a ball, ignoring the pain as you attempt to focus on the TV. Avoiding all texts, calls or anything. Even the internet.
[DING DONG]
"Huh?" You roll your sleeves and leggings down, wipe your eyes and look through the door. Felix. He was stood there, red, puffy eyes. You could tell he had been crying. You unlocked the door, dragging him in and slamming the door, hugging him so tight and crying into his chest. He hugged back. He started to comfort you by humming and rocking you, which worked every single time. He picked you up and carried you to the sofa. You both sit there, snuggling together in silence until you had stopped crying, he wipes the tears from your cheeks and eyes.
"Listen here, you're absolutely gorgeous, others may say that you're not but trust me, you are (Y/N). Don't listen to them, you have so many other friends to talk to about this. Family, Friends EVEN if it means that they're over the internet, they'll be supportive of you. And you have me, as you know." He said, holding you and staring directly into your eyes.
"I know, Felix. I'm sorry" You say directly, staring back into his incredibly beautiful, blue eyes. After a moment of silence and just staring into eachothers eyes, before you both knew it, you had both leaned in for a kiss. And as your lips crashed, neither of you pulled away until about 3 seconds and then you both realised what had happened. You then back away, staring at him again
"I-uhm..." You were speechless, he was grinning at you.
"Shh, I have feelings for you too, (Y/N)." He whispers, before hugging you and kissing your forehead. You just giggle in shock, and hug him back.
"I-I should go get cleaned up" You were blushing. As you then get up and speedily walked away, hearing him giggle at your awkward-ness. He thought it was adorable whenever he left you speechless. You walk upstairs, cleaning yourself up. You realised that you honestly could NOT stop smiling, staring at yourself in the mirror. You then started to cry with happiness, which felt great! You couldn't remember the last time you felt so happy you just wanted to dance around the place. Since he started making videos lately, becoming more well known, you'd have expected he would talk to someone else, take interest in someone else besides you. Since you had met him, you realised how much you loved him. But your mind kept on repeating
"It'll never happen, there are far prettier girls out there" Until now. You grab a random hoodie since you were cold, put it on, clean your face again and walked downstairs.
"Heyy, it's my hoodie!" He said, looking upside down at you. You hadn't even realised that until he pointed it out, then realising that the sleeves were incredibly long and started to giggle.
"Right, uhm yeah. D-did you want it back?" You giggled, still can't stop smiling!
"Nah, you can keep it." He gets up, walking towards you. He then hugged you tightly, whispering "I love you" in Swedish, which were the only words in Swedish he had actually taught you. "But I have to get going, before it's dark out." He said, pulling out of the hug and looking at you. "When are your parents back?" He questioned, concerned you were going to do anything silly again.
"Sometime soon, don't worry about me though. Thank you for coming over to cheer me up, it honestly means so much. I love you..." You look into his blue eyes again, all you could see was happiness in his eyes at the fact he could finally admit that he loves you.
"I love you too" He gave you a kiss on the cheek and put on his shoes, walking out and back home, you'd spent the rest of the evening texting.
I didn't mean to intend to offend anyone here, if I did I'm incredibly sorry. If you do self-harm, suffer depression or want anyone to talk to, you could tweet me @RockyLovesCry (Don't ask) if you ever need anyone to talk to... ♥
This also probably didn't make sense, but it is 10 to 1 in the morning. ♥
