Thank You, Liam

Chapter 3 - Preparation (SK)

Sometimes, the world surprises you when you least expect it. Whether it's taking something from you, or just plain out being rude to you, the universe will do whatever it can to make sure that it's plans work. There's no way that you can avoid it's plans, but you never learn to accept that, though.

9:41. 9:41 was when I couldn't speak to my dad anymore. 10:22. 10:22 was when I could no longer speak with my mum.

The universe decided to take something away from me. Something I'll never get back. My happiness. The universe doesn't want me to be happy, so why should I try? I should just end my misery. End it for good. Never have to put up with this. Ever again. I can sacrifice myself to the heavens. Be enveloped into happiness for eternity.

That sounds like what I need to do. What I'm going to do.

There's no hope for a lost cause like me. I'm already broken beyond repair. Broken. What my Aunt and Uncle consider me. So everyone else must also consider me broken? Of course. Why wouldn't they? I'm an object. Broken beyond repair. Never to be fixed.

An object that you take one look at, and throw it in the garbage bin. No second look. Just a glance before I'm tossed away into a doomed death. One that can't be prevented. You know why, though? Because it's what the universe wants.

And the universe always gets what it wants.

So I guess I'm just helping the universe. Going by it's plans. Like I said, it can't be prevented. I'm already in the garbage bin waiting. Just waiting until death finds it's way to me. A doomed death.

So, I guess this is goodbye? I don't think that anyone will ever find this letter though. Or even bother to read it. A dead girl touched it. Why would you touch it? In a way I'm already dead on the inside, so if you've ever touched my hand, or we've exchanged a glance, you've been glancing at a dead girl. Looking at a dead girl. Touching hands with a dead girl. Disgusted, are you? That makes two of us.

So this is officially goodbye. I must break the barrier between happiness and I. To finally meet my destiny. The destiny that's been planned since the day I was born. That can't be interrupted because it's what the universe wants.

If someone actually did read this, do you remember the last time you saw me? No? I would be surprised if you could.

I'm not living, I'm just existing. Goodbye.

I dropped the pen I was writing with, and tried to wipe the rest of the tears still clinging onto my lashes. The letter was a mess. Most words were smudged with my tears that had fallen onto the paper.

I slowly folded one side of the paper over, folding it in half. Now I was going to wait. Wait to use this letter. I grabbed the letter from my desk, wiping away the rest of of the dry, sticky tears on my cheeks, and walked over to my closet. I had to put this letter where no one would find it until they were supposed to.

I had to be prepared for when I was actually going to go along with this letter. When I was going to be released. I smiled to myself, thinking of how I'd be happy again. It's been only one month since my parents passed. And my Aunt and Uncle are oblivious to my swelling depression. They don't care enough to even pay the slightest bit on attention to me. Most of the time they don't acknowledge my presence.

I haven't talked to Liam in forever. I thought that we were going to have a good friendship, but I decided to shut him out. We've exchanged glances, and he waves every time. I just look down, trying not to draw too much attention towards me. Mostly I only meet his eyes when I close my window.

He's tried asking me why I haven't been talking to him, knocking on my window every other day. One time I was so desperate for human contact, I almost answered. I almost opened my blinds to the window. I had to keep my fist in my mouth from screaming. I just couldn't get hurt again. But Liam was harmless, and I was actually starting to think that he wanted to be friends. Why else would he bother me almost every day to ask how I've been?