Don't Do This.

Duodecim

After the letting the idea finally become accepted, Niall took us in like family. He showed us around Mullingar, introduced us to all of his little friends, and didn’t even think it was weird when I sent pictures of him to my friends, saying ‘Took a trip and met this guy. What do you think?’ So, a couple days before Park and I had to fly back home, I asked Niall where a private place for all of us to get together was. He told us to just wait for him after his shift and he’d take us back to his house. And that’s exactly what we did. He drove us all to his flat, making sure we were all comfortable before I began. 

“Alright. So I want to start by letting you see something,” I say, digging around in the bag I’d brought. I handed each of them their doll. 

“What’s this?” Niall asked, motioning to it. 

“It’s you. You guys had dolls.” I take out my phone and start to play the “Up All Night” album. 

“I guess that’s us too?” Lou asks. I nod, smiling as “Gotta Be You” plays. 

“Why are you showing us this?” Liam questions, hurt in his voice. 

“Because this can all be undone.” All of their heads snap up in my direction, a gape on some of their faces. 

“What?” 

“Yeah. All of your lives can be redone from the day you auditioned for X-Factor until now,” I tell them. 

“So what are you saying?” Harry blurts. 

“I’m saying that you can be successful and famous again and none of this could’ve ever happened.”

“Wait, what?” Harry asked again.

“None of this would’ve ever happened. We would’ve never happened.” 

“Oh god,” Park whispers as Harry grabs my hands. 

“But I love you. I can’t just leave you,” he says, making butterflies dance around in my stomach. 

“I love you too, but I want what’s best for you and this is it. I’ll still love you, but you won’t even know I exist,” I tell, giving a sympathetic smile. 

“But—”

“Harry. It’s for the best.”

Using my powers of persuasion, I got them all to agree not to come home with me. All but Harry. He refused to let me go by myself. I thought it was really sweet and all, but I also felt really bad. I didn’t know what was going to happen after everything was said and done, so it worried me. What if he was still there and didn’t know where he was, who we were, anything? What if—what if he dies or something? He could have a panic attack and I would have to calm him down and it just wouldn’t work well. Harry’s grip on my hand tightened as we arrived back at mine and Park’s place. Park rushed in, grabbing all of the stuff he needed and going straight to work. Harry and I, however, sat on the couch and moped. Dour expressions masked our faces, taking the life out of Harry’s eyes. I hated it. He even began to cry, placing gentle kisses to my nose and mouth as he cradled me in his arms. 

“Don’t you fucking cry because I’ll start crying,” I say, letting the first fatal tear fall. So for the next hour, Harry and I held each other and sobbed like babies. Subtle ‘I love you’s and ‘I’m going to miss you’s passed between us as the time flew by. Kisses stolen, tears shed, words of love spoken. That’s when I realized how much I actually needed Harry. He made me feel so much better. I hadn’t felt like this in years and I knew I needed him. Getting over him would be the hardest thing I’d ever done, but I’d have to do it. 

“It’s ready,” Park yelled from the garage, his words forcing us from the couch and to where he stood. He told me to get the blank poster back out, placing it where it was to begin with. With Harry’s assistance, Jon then moved the cauldron next to it, getting ready to dump the purple mix out onto the blankness. My hand found Harry’s, lacing our fingers. It was cut short as Harry’s lips crashed on mine, cupping my face in his. Then, only dark.