Home is where your heart is...

Amelia

"You're worthless you know that right? I've made it pretty clear so if you haven't gotten that message you are more retarded than I thought." my mom yells across the kitchen crumpling my progress report.

Yea mom I know you've said it almost every day.

"Are you even listening to your mother? She deserves a little respect from you, you ruined her dreams."

Oh okay dad, what was she possibly planning to do, I'm in high school go out and do whatever the hell you want I really don't give a shit. I can't tell you how many times I've heard this; this literally makes me worse every time. One of these times I just want to put myself out of my, and other's misery. But, I can't because I have to get through this last year of high school.

I can tell that I've completely zoned out now and am looking at the ground thinking to myself. I can hear my parents both yelling at me but I can't make out the actual words. I feel my phone vibrate in the back pocket of the skinny light jeans in wearing, its Quinn.

Quinn: hey Am, how'd it go with the parents?

- still dealing with it but idk what the big deal is I literally had all As and an A- like wth

Quinn: my parents would literally jump for joy and praise me if I had grades like urs

- well wanna switch?

Quinn: nah fam im good

- I literally hate myself so much im not even kidding

- these little sessions every night don't help any

Quinn: im sorry Am <3

- dont be... I deserve it

Quinn: you really dont Am... ur amazing I wish you could see that

- im really not, well im going to deal with the rest of this, ill see you tom tho

Quinn: ok, bye Am luv ya

- luv ya too Q

I think I just lied, I don't think I'm going to make it through tonight. I don't want to be here anymore it's honestly not worth it. I haven't even noticed that my parents have left and I somehow walked up to my room without knowing. I lay down on my bed and I start thinking,

What if I did die? Right now, no goodbyes just left. Would it really be that bad? I mean my parents could get another dog and I mean there are always more friends. So why not?

I walk into my bathroom and look in the mirror. Yep still ugly, fat disgusting. Same as always great. I then open the medicine cabinet and see that I have my mom's prescription for oxycodone, why? Wow this universe really wants this to happen, so here ya go universe. I take out the pills and put the bottle on the counter. I start crying, is this really where the pain ends? Will I actually feel something now? I don't want to feel empty anymore. I just want something. So I start with five pills, down. I run the water in the bath to make it seem like in actually doing something; I don't know why it's not like my parents would actually care. But I turn around and take another 7 pills, I think I can feel them setting in, I'm not really sure what the feeling is or how to describe it. But I just kind of feel myself shutting down. I shut off the water and I lay down on the floor. I take one last 5 pills. This is it, this is the end. Right here I'm ending all the hurt all the emptiness.

"I'm sor----"