Shtuff

Zombie butt

It was a dark and stormy midget. He came up to our house one sunny day and said "hey man your toilets clogged! It's the end of the world!" Then it started to snow apples. One of the apples hit a hobo in the head. Another hit the ground and created a black hole. My talking pig came out and screamed "look at that anus!" I looked away and ran to my room yelling "my underwear is pink!" The toilet started to flood. Sooner than you can say lick Gadalf's ear, I was drowning in my own piss. I gasped for air but instead choked on a giant turd that looked like Abraham Lincoln. Suddenly a yellow haze filled my vision . My eyes were open in the pee. Damn it, I wish we'd called a Plummer a millennium ago when it all started! now I was dying. so this is what it's like to inhale urine. it almost tasted like a huge moldy potato. but then suddenly gasman came out of no where and kicked a poo shaped like Florida away from my face. he picked me up just as I blacked out. when I woke up he was sullenly eating the shit that he had saved me from. I asked why he did this and he told me "that's what the cool people do. " so I grabbed a handful and shoved it in my face. it tasted like my grandmas armpit, soaked in mayonnaise and yogurt. it gave me the power to see beyond my selfish ways, it gave me the Miley Cyrus disease. I felt like a whole new person, and began humping the wall and twerking and licking and I knew then that I couldn't stop because I had the disease. so I started to sing "I caaaannnn't stoooooop and i wonnnmm't stooooooop unless someone helps me and give me the cure for this disease..." and gasman, making a face like Nicholas cage, punched me with his eyesocket.

That was the end of me, until I was reincarnated as a gay skittle-puking cthulu on fire , I smelt like a sewer. I mean a suer.. like the nasty people who sue people. yup. I was hunting for my mate when I saw a bucktoothed vulture. naturally this made me take a shit. the vulture got a giant boner and started to make me some grilled cheese. in the end we were married in 00000009 A.D. on a leap year so that we would never have too many anniversaries cause those suck mad balls bro. we in turn had 72000 children and never took care of them. then one day a bull dozer came and bull dozed our log cabin that was painted with peanut butter . that was the end of me until I was yet again reincarnated as a alien from planet 51. Pretty soon that was over cause I was constipated. when I finally took I laxative I blew up and that was the end of me. then I was reincarnated as a tree and I got chopped down by a fat black German he-she lumberjack with a monocle that looked like a greek old man goddess hoodlum. Then I was never reincarnated again , stupid fat black German he-she lumberjack with a monocle that looks like a Greek old man goddess hoodlum! Care he not for the environment that in which Loki grows his yams! I mean, what are yams?!? orange potatoes? dem fuckin potatoes again! and this all started with a midget and a clogged toilet.