The Hidden Secret

chapter 7

"No , no,no!" I screamed at myself for being weak in front of him . Blake took a step back looking at me with the same scowl in his face but I could clearly see the worried behind it ."Leave Blake please " I said through sobs "Please Blake just leave" I couldn't get the words out it hurts so much .

"Whore , Slut, Whore, Slut, Whore.." His words repeated in my head like a broken record I don't know why I feel this kind of pain just by his words  .

"Luzkay ...." Blake looked at me now not hiding the worried in his voice and his face he looked at me like like if he was handling a fragile glass if you were to touch me Ill brake easily and he was one more push he'll break me easily . I just shook my head at him and turned around my back facing him while sobbing on my pillow.

'He didn't mean it ' I heard a soft , calm voice in my head that sounded like mine . I shook it off ignoring it proberly hearing things to calm myself down while burying my head to my pillow that the only thing I could hear is my heavy breathing and Blake's soft voice that I couldn't get any words he was saying .

It got quiet for a few seconds until I heard my door slam open and close .I took my head off the pillow making sure Blake wasnt in the room and turned around to face the black ceiling with my back laying on the comfortable bed." Why dad why? " I asked him expecting him to answer forgetting his eight feet under ground. "Why did you leave me ? " I asked "If you didn't past away I wouldnt be like this I know its not your fault daddy "My voice broke I felt so much anger and sadness two emotions that I don't like feeling and mostly if its at the same time . I didn't notice that I now had tears running  down my rosy red cheeks I whimper feeling so much pain and anger towards everyone around me .

My mom for making me move to this stupid house now consider my living nightmare, Me breaking up with Omar , and me feeling weak when I'm with Blake and all of that is towards me not them but me.Only if my dad was here i wouldn't be going through this.

"Shhhh baby girl" My dad said calming my past self "When you feel that the worlds against you just sing a song and imagine me being next to you because even if I'm far ill always be close holding you when you're ready to  fall " My dads last words remain in my head like a tatto with his warm smile when he laid next to me on my bed while I cried on his shoulder not to leave me just to go to work who would've known that those words would've  been his lasts.

I felt a pang in my heart just remembering my dad his warm smile , his laugh , how he will givé me advice and how he will try to prank me while I was asleep,  i was daddies little girl and still am nothing will ever change that.

I took a deep breathe calming myself down like my dad taught me and let the song do the talking
  'Little do you know how I'm breaking while you fall asleep '
I sang to myself while closing my eyes but the the only thing I can see is the scowl on Blakes face I felt a little smile form on my face. "No luzkay" I said to myself "Don't think about that jerk how can you  smile after what he told you?" I scolded myself feeling confused about my feelings and removing the smile thug grew on face thanks to Blake

'Little do you know that Im still haunted about the momories' "Whore,slut but that's what I like about you " .Blake's words repeated in my head "Bitch , whore, nerd, slut " Words that someone shouldn't call any type of girl . I closed my eyes tighter trying to make my brain forget its like when your young and they call u fat such a little word can scarce a person for life .I didn't like it when he called me those names and what scares me the most is how much it effects me .

. 'Little do you know I'm trying to pick myself up piece by piece'.

Who
wants
a p.o.v
for...

..... Blake ?
💁😉