What Lies Beneath

Chapter 15: Disorientated States

It was hard to break certain habits like biting your nails or eating sweets that were filled with calories. However Bonnie Bennett always prided herself on having a certain amount of self control when it came to such things. After making the revelation that the best thing she could do for herself was stay away from Damon Salvatore, she began to put her plan into motion. It wasn't easy though because as usual Damon had plans of his own, and she was factored into most of them. But after a few days of avoiding him or throwing herself into planning for Founder's Day, she felt as if her head was clearer and that she would be able to break away once and for all.

Well that was not entirely true. Breaking away for good meant that she would break the blood bond, and although she had the spell she had not performed it. Yet. She was trying to figure out all of the pros and cons of the situation…all while telling herself that no matter what she felt deep down for Damon, he'd never be able to give her what she wanted. Stefan was probably right—his brother was incapable of genuine human emotion.

That would be so easy to believe if she did not have other images in her mind. Damon coming to her rescue, saving her life and actually managing to make her feel better after her Grams died. If only he could get the hell over himself and—and grow up! He was the oldest man child she knew, clinging tooth and nail to vengeance and some ideal woman that wanted nothing to do with him. Perhaps if anyone else had turned him and Katherine didn't exist, they could be something more than what they were.

Whatever that was.

Anyway the more she thought about it, the more she figured she could date Tyler. She didn't wanna marry the guy and yes he had issues of his own—such as making out with his best friend's mother…who does that—but he was nice as far as she could remember. Or at least nice to her. And they could have pleasant talks about things that had nothing to do with how screwed up their lives might be. And he was cute…he had a warm smile. Sure they weren't the smoldering good looks of Damon, but she wasn't going to be superficial. Tyler wasn't caught up in any type of boyfriend/ex girlfriend drama and for her that was a big pro.

Damon was still angry at her because she wanted a life outside of him. He wasn't willing to commit but he also didn't want her to have anyone else—classic spoiled brat syndrome. Except he could probably kill Tyler which would put a huge damper on everything. She'd only seen him a few times since their argument about a week ago and those had been in passing. But she got the feeling he'd come into her room when she was asleep. She'd find the window open when she was certain she'd closed it, or the things on her dresser slightly rearranged. If they were still on speaking terms she'd tease him about his Edward Cullen stalking behavior.

In a weird way though she missed him. She missed the way he touched her and even how he annoyed her. He was under her skin and digging him out was not going to be quick and painless. Her biggest fear was that she'd break their link and yet continue to feel everything while he was suddenly free and clear. Then she'd be the one pining for someone who could care less about her.

Sighing deeply, she pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her chin to them, glancing around with big green eyes. Her surroundings were familiar if hazy; the woods of Mystic Falls where she'd walked or parties had been held time and time again enveloped her with their crooked branches and thick trunks. A few yards up ahead were the falls and the bridge which led to the small picnic area most people enjoyed during the day.

It was night in her mind. Yes she was quite aware that she was dreaming. After doing it so often with Damon it wasn't hard to pick up on the signs. She was alone here however…just listening to the sounds of crickets and feeling the cold touch of the full moon on her skin if that were at all possible. A part of her wondered if perhaps Emily was about to show up and try to murder her again, have scary dead hands pull her underneath the frigid ground. Another questioned whether Katherine was going to jump out and attempt to strangle her all while looking like her best friend.