secrets that can't be told

Whole life story

 Amaya's POV

    Waking up I feel the warm sun on my copper toned skinned. Dad has already been at work and the smell of bacon hits me before I can exhale. I get out of bed glancing at Mariya who has her phone on her pillow from texting last night after the fiasco. I look in my closet for my jeans and a decent T-shirt. After I get dressed  I open the door quietly so I won't wake marcus who is across the hall. When I get downstairs I find my mother smiling and humming to herself as she cooks scrambled eggs. I smile and nod at her meaning hello then sit at the black round table in the midde of the kitchen. Mariya and Marcus come down stairs dressed for the day a few minutes after me. 

"Hey mom I'm going to the vintage shop to meet up with my friends." Mariya says without looking up from her phone. My mom nods and Mariya leaves. Marcus walks over to the fridge and grabs some orange juice. 

"Morning mom." He says while putting his cup in the sink. "Me and some guys in the complex are gonna go play some ball okay?" My mom looks up from cooking and nodded. 

   My apartment complex is small and cozy. Full of nice little town house apartments and vintage candy shops all down the street. Mariya, Marcus, and I all walk down the street together and get salt water taffy, it's the best stuff you ever tasted. Mamma sets a paper plate in front of me and puts scrambled eggs on my plate. 

   "Don't eat the eggs until the bacon is ready Amaya." My mother says, still frying the bacon in the greased pan. 

    "Mom, when will this ever end?" I ask playing with my fork. 

    My mom puts down the pan and sighs.  "What do you mean by that?."  She says nonchalantly setting down a plate for the bacon. "I mean when will this family find peace? when will anyone find peace? Heck, when will YOU find peace mom?" 

    She pauses and she stands almost like a doll, her eyes glaze over in fear and anxiety. "Look Amaya, I'm a mother of three, no four children if we include your father. and I stay home scrubbing and cleaning, buying groceries and cooking dinner. We are barely getting by with what we have and your fathers job is about to let him go. We have no money and no connections, so to answer your question Amaya I honestly dont know if this will end." 

I look down at the plate of eggs solemnly then decide I am not hungry. I walk to my room and close the door quietly. Sometimes if I am quiet enough I can hear my mother weeping almost silently. Crawling on my knees I quickly reach my hand under my bed and grab a journal. The journal is brown with a leather outside and a piece of duct tape stretched across with words spelling keep out. I open it and read all of my previous pages. Pages filled with sorrow and pain. After reading it all I instantly rip out all the pages and crumple them up. "These things are from the past." I say almost above a whisper. 

    "Mom I'm home!" Mariya yells as the door slams shut behind her. "I brought home some taffy for Amaya.. Tell her she has to share with Marcus." 

   I put down my journal and rush out my bedroom. Saltwater taffy is my all time favorite treat.. its even better when I don't have to share. When I get downstairs I see Mariya lying on the couch flipping channels on the TV. Marcus comes inside after playing basketball with some boys in our apartment complex. 

   "Awesome! Taffy, thanks Mariya." He says walking toward the counter and reaching for the whole bag. I rush for the bag and slap it out of his hands. "You have to share! Stop thinking only about yourself you fat troll!" He chuckles and tussles my hair walking off. I huff loudly while trying to fix my hair. "Save some for me!" He yells before walking  all the way out the door. 

  "Ugh. Marcus only thinks about himself!" I exclaim as I plop down next to Mariya. She chuckles and finally settles on a channel. "That's just how he is Amaya, you'll get used to it just like had to." I sigh and slump down and start unwrapping my first piece of taffy. Luckily, it was my favorite flavor. The best way to eat taffy is to suck on it until it dissolves. You get all the flavor that way without damaging it, but that's just me. As I start watching TV my mom peeks out of the kitchen. 

    "Amaya, I need you and Marcus to go to the store, I need some more stuff for dinner tonight." She hands me a grocery list and tells me to get Marcus. I huff and get up from the couch to go outside. "I could do without the attitude!" She warns me before I walk outside. I walk outside to the complex basketball court. 

   "Marcus! mom wants us to go to the store!" I yell hoping to embarrass him. He gives me a warning look and a stop yelling. 

   "One more shot okay?" He says dribbling the ball down the court. "No!" I say "Lets go now!" He drops the ball and sighs "Fine." He says before waving to his friends. We start walking to the store side by side in the warm summer wind.