Emma

Chapter 4

April  16th, 1637
    It's been a week since the accident happened in the forest. Everything was as it was. Verity tending the flowers in the garden, Geslyn answered to what mother told her to do, while taking care of her eldest child. Victoria and John went out into the town to mingle and visit with the people. Richard sat with me in the kitchen, he was waiting for one of the cooks to finish making his third lunch for that afternoon. I wore gloves over my hands and wore a coat that covered my entire body. I couldn't risk anyone finding out if it were to happen again. I didn't touch a knife, I didn't pick the roses like I would for my father in the woods, I didn't even talk to my husband in the week that followed the incident. That was fairly easy though avoiding my husband as he was out with the troops visiting the next town over to settle some unsolved issues of sorts. I never got into what it was exactly as I had other things on my mind.

Emma what are you doing sitting in the kitchen, there are things that need to be done" my Father said.. He stood above me glaring down with his demeaning eyes. His mustache and beard stood out like no other and his hair was slicked back perfectly. Im sure he had a servant on stand by for if a single hair stuck out of place on that greasy mop he calls hair.

"I was waiting for if anyone needed help in here I didnt me-"
   
"Their job is to serve us not the other way around Emma, go off and make something useful of yourself. He said sternly swinging a finger in my face to prove his point further. I speed walked out of the kitchen and away from him. Richard had left earlier than I as he was given his food and away he went. I managed to find myself back into my large extravagant room. My daughter was being cared for by Joann, one of the ladies that worked for us. She's one of the only people I actually get to talk to here. She always listens to what I have to say.

"Emma darling, Lillian here is getting ready for her nap, would you like to say goodnight?" Smiling and nodding to her I race right towards my little girl whose arms are open wide for me to take her.

I still remember the softness of her Pajamas as I held her close to my chest. I can feel her heartbeat close to mine. How it felt when her little fingers clasped my larger ones. We don't appreciate what we have enough when we have it. She smiled all the time....always such a happy child.

Hi lily darling, momma is wishing you sweet dreams you hear now" hugging her one last time I lay her back down in her crib. Her eyes start to droop before closing fully drifting off into sleep.

"You really are a wonderful mom Mrs. Emma"
"Thank you Ms. Joann"
"You've seemed really out of it lately..is everything alright with you?" She has worry etched into her face. I can't tell her though, this is one thing I can not tell her.
"I'm fine Ms. Joann. I'm only waiting for the arrival of my husband. It worries me when he's gone for this long."
"No need to fret my darling, he will come home safe and sound like always..I'm sure of it" she stroked my hair softly, untangling the notes I created by playing with it nervously. Joann told me stories from when she was younger growing up as poor as a donkey. How she worked as hard as she could, picking fruits for neighbors, cleaning any house that would let her through the door, and other slave working tasks since she was only seven years old. Looking at her now, you would have never thought she grew up poor, or even had a hard life. Her hair is now graying, much more than before. Its cut long and thrown into an updo like i've always seen it in. Father likes his employees to look their utmost best at all times. Her uniform was only a white blouse and skirt layered with a black apron for if she were to do work that made a mess. Her green eyes are youthful for her age, her pale complexion although prove she's been overworked and tired through the, the prominent bags under her eyes. She still always has a smile on her face, always the first one to greet people as they walk into the room. She is as bright as the sun. "honey, you're different then the rest" She said to me making my blood run cold. Does she know? How would she know i thought i was careful.

"What are you talking about.... Ms. Joann?"
"Im saying, you think different, act different, you're special..I want you to know that you shouldn't change a thing, it's not the big grand thing you do in life, but how you touch people's hearts along the way"

Do you remember when I told you this? I carried what she said with me through everything. There were times where i lost myself as you know. I killed, lost, and betrayed most everyone that was ever precious to me. You should have known what you were getting into with me. But as always I messed everything up when we both fell in love. You remind me a bit of Joann. Everyone that meets you can't help but fall in love. I'm only another one of your victims.

Ms. Joann...what would you do, if you were one thing your entire life, and then all of a sudden you were something different" I ask.

"What kind of different are you referring to?"

"Like....I could do things that nobody else can do" Joann holds eye contact with me for about three seconds before looking away. She plays with her bun, fixing any stray hairs, still thinking about my question. "You don't have to answer Ms. Joann, it's not anything I need answered.." I stand up fixing my dress in the process. Feeling scattered and scared I don't like silence, silence scares me.

"Emma, dont go I want to answer your question" she stands reaching out for my arm but i'm too fast for her.

"It's ok Ms. Joann, I should be going, like father says, lots of things to do, no sitting around"

"But Emma-"

"By Ms. Joann" and with that I ran out of my room, down the hall, past Kilian our butler, past Archer our chef, and past my brother and sister Victoria, and Richard. I ran out the door into the woods where I would feel safe and be where I belonged. With all the other freaks of the world, other animals and people who didn't belong in normal society.

It was that day James, I decided to become something new. That nobody would understand, or know who I was. So I hide in the forest, so I could learn how to hide in plain sight in society. As long as the world would allow me, I would hide what I have become so I could live for my daughter, for my sisters, for my brothers. I would live not for myself but for others. This is only, just the beginning.