The love story we call cliche ((spideypool))

Introduction for the merc

  Legit you guys I'm writing this at 11:47pm. Not tired in the slightest
help. But I would put a picture or video for each chapter ok (oh and that's the sexy wade) oh and I'm bad at writing, oh and this is my first fanfic so please enjoy😊 (I said oh a lot)
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Deadpools pov

"I CAME IN LIKE AN WRECKING BALL!!" I singed loudly in my apartment. "What's the next lyric...oh hi there, I'm wade Wilson aka deadpool aka merc with the mouth and I'm just singing in my apartment like Mariah carry on crack." Oh shit...can I say that about Mariah carry..OH WELL FUCK IT.

Hey wade do you think you can...I don't know turn it down a notch
Why should HE, look he's having fun
I can't.. huh, never mind have your fun 
"Thank you whitey..oh yeah, the author of this story was to fucking lazy to put who was who. Well the bold is yellow and the white is...you guessed it italic."

I really need to stop breaking The forth wall or y'all gonna lose your shit, haha I said lose. But I was currently eating pancakes while watching "mean girls" the 20th time.

Hey after this let's go blow up some stuff. I'm booooooored
Well then wait till wades done. And let's not blow up stuff, let's just take a job...ok
Huh fineeee
"You guys are legit stupid, of course (NO LIE, when I was typing course it said cougars England, HOW) where GONNA take a job. I'm slowly agreeing with white on this one yellow. sorry" I said yelling for some odd reason.

Alright time to go unalive some baddies. I go to my bedroom to put on my badass suit and all my weapons, once there all on I leap out of my old apartment building.

So what you got for us today son
"We got a drug dealer tech shit going down on a rooftop five blocks from here."
Ok, unalive all of them or just the one running it
Now that's not much fun, unalive all of them, right DEADPOOL
"RIGHT!" I laugh.

I reach my destination and hide behind a air vent. Element of surprise bitches. I peek my black and red mask out behind of the air vent and what I see fucks me up for now till...next week. "What the hell.." why do they have children. yo wade I thought this was a drug deal kinda of shit. "Me too but it looks like...they lied..it's a trap"

So your probably wondering if it's a trap..leave, buuuuuut I'm too fucking bored so imma unalive some bastards that like to have sex with 12 year old kids.

"HEY DUMBASSES OVER HERE!!" They all look my way and immediately feel fear..I can smell it (hah get it.. I'm not funny) "so you guys think raping these kids are good. For what, your two inch dicks, even the little kids feel pity for that, AND THERE THE ONES GETTING RAPED!" I yell furiously.

Ooooo a fight I'm excited, alright wade think thi- "too late" I get my katanas and start chopping dicks. Hah this is fun. "Now you guys can either stop screaming in agony or you all can be turn into guts and bloods made out of words." Once I said that in a happy GO lucky tone they shut the fuck up. To bad there gonna die anyways.

"Now good job little kids...oh and just in curiosity who's your boss for all of this?" One of them raised there hand. Ok your gonna die first. "Thank you for telling me you dumbass cause now your just gonna die." I teleported to him and chopped his head off. One by one I did that with all of them.

"HAH YOU GUYS JUST GOT DEAD POOLED HAHAHA!!" I just stood there for a moment laughing like a maniac before I cooled down too go help the little kiddies. "Are you guys ok?" I said softly. The six kids that were there shook there heads. "Did any one of them put there woohoo in you?" They shook there head 'no'. Good I showed up on time.

I told them to call the police from four blocks away from this building so they can get home. They obeyed and did what I said. You know I just found out they were all siblings...huh.

Well now that's out of the way. I shot myself in the head. I woke up to no body's near me. "THANKS DEATH BABY!" I yelled. Hope she heard me I smirked. I was about to leave to get chimichangas but I saw something catch my eye. It was red and blue, but it went to fast, damn I wante- "HEY YOU!"

Ummmm did you hear that? Yes hey DEADPOOL turn around so we can see who yelled, after our awesome victory. "Yes, may I help you person that I don't know or heard of." I heard the person gasp when they walked more towards me so I can see better. And what I saw made me die. IT WAS A TALKING CHIMICHANGA YESSSSSSSSSS. THANK YOU THOR. I grab the awesome flying chimichanga truck and walked back to my apartment to eat everything. But I swore I saw my hero. Oh well.

CHIMICHANGA, CHIMICHANGA
CHIMICHANGA, CHIMICHANGA
"CHIMI-FUCKIN-CHANGAAAAAA~" huhhhh~ this is going to be one great fucking week. After my party of the day with my chimichangas I went to my bedroom and took off everything.

Got in the shower stayed in there for a good 30 mins. Got out brushed my teeth. Got Charlie the unicorn and some lotion. Got in my bed and enjoyed the best masturbation I ever had in my fucking life...well except that one time but you get my point. After the best masturbation time, I had I took Charlie the unicorn replaced it with my Spider-Man plushy said goodnight to both my boxes and plushy and went to sleep.

Huh this was a great day.

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So did you guys like that. I really tried to get the spelling right. Oh and it's currently 2:14am. Hah I suck but I hope you liked the first chapter and see you guys in the next one ✌️