When you have terrible panic attacks caused by dysphoria, and your mind creates the most hellish thoughts, and you want to run so bad.
But how do you run away from the thing so evil in mind that is your body.
And you end up feeling as if you'll be stuck that way forever, which makes you begin to panic even more.
And if you speak of such pain, many will say you are inflicting it on yourself, but you're truly not. They tell you to be happy and accept your body and so much more and beyond.
But they have no idea how hard you try and that they are wrong. But you can't make them see it. You can't make them see how even when you are happy, you feel such a stranger to yourself. How you walk around with constant discomfort.... It's not taking up all your thoughts.... But it's more than just in the back of your mind.... Just enough..... To kill you more and more each day.
I can be happy and have fun like i do alot but the pain is still there.
The pain of this body.
The struggle of wanting to transition so bad. But even if others allow you, it's still expensive. To many, transitioning is a "want" and not a need.
But let me tell you right now.
People who feel they really need to transition, trust me they do.
Listen to them. Listen to me. You can make all these laws and stuff and raise hormone therapy prices and surgery because it's a "want" to you. But let me tell you, you are hurting others, killing them internally, and sometimes even physically acting dying. So go ahead and not accept your own family members or others in society and try to make life way harder than it should be for people, but just keep in mind what you are doing.
But then again you probably don't care....
You question
How to stay strong
And keep holding on
Till finally life is good
It will be someday
Trust me
But things can be hellish for some time before they get better
