The New Road of The Bookman Apprentice (D gray man fanfic)

Chapter 3

I reluctantly sealed the letter and got dressed. This time I wore the hat I took off the rack and one of Gramp's robes as a shirt with my regular pants.

I strode down the stairs and nonchaulontaly handed Allen the letter. I sat at the front desk and dreaded Lenalee's reaction.

..............

I sat in my shared room tidying my bed when Allen walked in.

"Hey this just came from the order," he said. I took the envelope out of his hand. the only thing written on the neat crisp envelope was "Lenalee" in neat precise hand writing.

"Who's that from?" Taiya asked eyeing my note.

"I'm not sure," I said opening the letter.

There was simply a single piece of paper inside. I took it out and unfolded it. It was a letter.

Dear Lenalee,

I know I shouldn't be writing you. If the old man found out he'd surley have my head. I didn't like how things ended between us, so I wanted to let you know that I'm okay. I've been learning a lot where I've been assigned and it's been really interesting. It hasn't been as exciting and adventurous as being an exerorcist but not all of my assignments can be like that.

I don't want you to worry about me. I've been doing this since I was a little kid. The old man and I know how to protect ourselves so no more crying, alright? Don't cry over me. I'm perfectly safe and unharmed and that is exactly how I plan to stay.

Lenalee I want you to stay close with Allen, Yuu, Krowry, and Miranda. They are good people and better friends. Unlike me they'll never leave your side. Stay safe and don't worry anymore.

-The Bookman's Apprentice

Tears fell onto the page. What was I doing? He told me not to cry!

I wasn't supossed to cry anymore. He was safe! but he wasn't here. Why was I being so selfish?

I crinckled the letter in my fists and held it to my chest.

"Was it from your boyfriend?" Taiya asked.

"What, my boyfriend? Oh, no he's not my boyfriend we're only friends, but he left and I can't see him again," Fresh tears started to spill from my eyes and I viciously wiped them away.

"How come?" she asked.

"Well, he moves a lot. We knew going in that his stay would be temporary but we all grew so attached to him, and now he's gone." fresh tears broke and my vision blured.

"Hey, don't cry," Taiya soothed.

I sniffed and wiped the tears from my eyes.

"No, I won't cry anymore Lavi wouldn't want that," I shook my head and tried to stop crying.

"Lavi? Wasn't that the guy you left the package for?" Taiya asked.

"Yeah, that's him. Even if he is here I have to keep my distance but, I want to write him back." I nodded running over to the desk in the corner and grabbing a pen and paper out of the drawer.

"Hey, Lenalee I don't think you are suposed to do that," Taiya said tenderly.

"But I have to tell him that I'm ok too. I have to tell him that I won't cry and I won't miss him," more tears started to defiantly fall from my eyes. Why was I crying so much? I didn't cry this much when I thought Allen had died! I had the benifit of doubt then, but still. I always knew he was alive, but I'm certain that one piece of my world will never be returned. Never had I felt so lost. Losing Allen or Lavi for real would be just as devastating as loosing Komui.