Savage Laughter

Rewinding Memories

My voice gets raspy my throat swells up I tried so hard to not be in pain but the more I vouch my heart out the more I'm drawn to what I've felt. I'm so used to the pain that formed in my life since childhood all I knew was to grow from pain, but this pain today couldn't stay away if I think about that certain pain or want to get  closer to it somehow like a razor against my skin how addictive the pain was for me. How I grew out of not being let go of was tough, now all I can do now is rewind who made me go through all this pain & why.

I just miss it all
I want it all back

The way this certain pain made me feel was a beautiful kind of pain so many ups & downs & regrets I just wished it didn't end so bad.

I loved it
I didn't want it to fade away

As of today the pain still there, how could the love I gained crashed so soon

Making it impossible to let go

The way you made me smile when I was going through the darkest days of my life

Laughter was golden and kept me feeling ALIVE

I only DIED when I couldn't see it

I fought to rewind you over and over again

Failure at its best took over