***WATTPAD FEATURED STORY***
In order to forgive, you must forget, and the only way to do that is to distract yourself with the present, throw away the past, and keep your eyes steady on the future.
authors note┋this is the second to last chapter!! i can't explain to you guys how freaking happy i am to finally complete this story after far too many months of writing. while yes, i love this story to death, it was supposed to be completed in july or august and now is being completed in NOVEMBER. besides that, i hope that you all had a wonderful thanksgiving, and will now PREPARE FOR CHRISTMAS
dedi┋for my baby ki ki <333
song + image┋
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AQUIESCE
(v). accept something reluctantly but without protest
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I STUNK OF DECAY and depression.
I could smell it all around me like I could smell that god awful cinnamon, but instead of attempting to wash it out I was completely and utterly stuck with it. If you could wash away depression then we'd all be Ellen Degeneres. But since its figuratively and literally impossible, for those of us unfortunate enough, it sticks to your skin and your heart and your soul until you just can't breath.
Which is exactly how I felt as we drove closer and closer to my doom.
After my near death experience just last night, Weston had refused to let me out of his sight. I had to keep the bathroom door open while I pooped and showered, and he only turned around when he knew that I was changing. While some would find it romantic and protective, after all that we've been through I found it mortifying and pathetic. He was treating me like a child, but I still understood his point. I had tried to kill myself, and if he had taken about 30 seconds longer in the bathroom then I wouldn't be staring out of his car window at this moment.
Who's to say that was a bad thing?
After silently eating at a small and mostly vacant diner, we were back on the road immediately. I was full of pancakes and coffee, and I could feel my eyes lids becoming heavy with much needed sleep. Last night I had gotten only a few hours, as after crying it takes me quite a while to rest. Not to mention the fact that I was wrapped up in Weston's arms - a position that I had always dreamt of being in and expected to be the most comfortable - but even that couldn't calm me. I was worried for one, and still traumatized by what I had tried to do.
So now here I was, wanting to sleep but being forced to wake up. It was kind of like my external predicament - wanting to be free but being forced to marry. I sighed a loud, and with a finger discreetly wiped the tears building up in my eye lids. While I was beginning to become sick of crying and feeling bad for myself, I realized that I couldn't contain it anymore. This would probably be the last time that I would ever feel any emotion, as being married to Cole would drain them all from me.
