Dedicated to my best friend,Muffin. If it wasn't for her I wouldn't have updated. She did one of the most nicest things for me,and so this is a cheer for her,also check her out her story Jericho is really good,love you lots hun!
Chapter Five :Frivolous
The morning came fast. Today was a lot duller then yesterday,and that seemed to effect my mood greatly. A feeling of nausea ran over me into the pit of my stomach, curling at my spleen.It was that time of the year,again.It was Monday. The rain was falling that day.Light on my window and soft on the grass. It was almost soothing to me,they way it trickled and pinged with every drop.
I never really enjoyed the rain, but, seeing it made me realize all the duller a day can be when it falls. The plants were shimmering with water and dew.I smiled, cracking my window, the fresh smell of a meadow at its' core.The flowers glistened in the slow yet cascading rain. I felt almost as if I could watch every drop before it fell.
Days like those I choose to stay home.Only because the emotions I had were to disorderly for the outside world .Rain would pour on my weakest day,reminding me just how unstable I was without him.Him,my husband.He'd never approve of me staying home on wet,and rainy Mondays.In fact,he'd be the one to drag me out my room for a day out at the beach.
I wish I wouldn't have complained.That I would have been thankful like any other girl who had a husband as good as mine,but,it's to late.My legs buckled beneath me as I walked over to grab the pile of letters I had wrote for him. I brought out my notepad once again, and shakily began to write. Every time I tried I felt the tears sting and then suddenly they were falling unto the paper. I felt the snot run from my nose unto my lip and I moaned back in reaction.You'd think i'd be used to the feeling of it by now. But, I just can't shake the feelings that consume me when I am face to face with my reality. When I'm face to face with the truth.
I tried to write again,but it was of no use. The tears fogged my vision every other word. I heard shuffling and tried my best to wipe the tears from my face. I couldn't let Sam see me like this. How could I even begin to put my problems on her? I couldn't tell her about his leaving without breaking down into a million pieces. She'd think that she'd have to put her problems away to focus on me,and that would make me selfish. I could make it this year without a shoulder to cry on. My priorities had to be on Sam right now. And I had convinced myself that they would be.
"You okay?," she asked. "Your're real quiet."
Yea,I'm fine," I lied. I walked over to the refrigerator and pulled out a carton of eggs along with a package of bacon. "Hungry." She nodded eagerly,flicking her eyes back to the television.
The bacon was just about done as we're the eggs. Sam didn't hesitate to make herself a plate. For some odd reason I watched her. She looked vulnerable and tired. This battle she was fighting with her mother and her unborn child was conflicting with everything within her. Her body, her mind, even her heart. She noticed my sulking and starring.
"What?"
"Nothing." I said "It's just that. I can't imagine what you're going through right now."
She slowly chewed the bacon, realizing what I had said. "I'm fine."
"You're strong," I whispered."And brave." She smiled "Thanks." I gave her some more time to eat her breakfast alone,catching up on old soap operas. I saw her go down the hallway and turn into the guest room. She came out dressed up nicer then she was before. She had the phone pressed up to her ear and she spoke. "I'll be there in five I'm right across the street from there."
