SUPERNATURAL SMUT

Temptations

Part 2

By: haikuhamster

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Regret

On Monday, Castiel got drunk. He'd flirted with the bartender, empty promises to show her a good time. She looked attractive, for a woman, and her personality was interesting enough. She called him Clarence.

A vow to resist temptations, how hard could it be? It was easy. Castiel was just fucking stupid. He'd been flustered, as anyone would be, but he cracked. He showed the boy he was interested and spurred him on. And now he was wasting his money on alcohol and lying to a stranger.

On Tuesday, Castiel enjoyed work. It was methodical and mentally consuming. All thought put into the sorting of books and dealing with visitors of the library. It was a small town, so some people called him Father. He tried not to flinch.

On Wednesday, he called his father. He didn't answer. He never did. Castiel flirted with the bartender again, chugging back whiskey like it was sweet tea.

When he got home, he prayed for forgiveness for his actions. He had been putting it off because he didn't feel true remorse. He felt self-loathing, not anger on behalf of his failure to God. He ended the prayer in tears, apologizing instead for not feeling remorse even as he prayed.

On Thursday, he met a nice young man at work. He and Castiel discussed civil law for about an hour, and a few other patrons joined the conversation at times. The boy wanted to go to law school, but he never thought he'd get in. Castiel told him to always have hope and faith, and that no matter what, things happen for a reason. The boy's name was Sam Winchester, and he'd come into town on Saturday with his father and his brother.

On Friday, Castiel gave a youth sermon to a group of college students (rather, people aged 18-24), about 100 people total. Castiel was more comfortable with this group than any other.

"Having sex before marriage, cheating on partners, dishonesty, abandoning God: these are choices. Sexual orientation, gender identity, what personalities you're drawn to in friends, your emotions: these are things you cannot control. God is a fair judge and is not influenced by things you don't control in yourself."

Heads nodded around the room, leaving Castiel with a feeling of satisfaction. A hand raised in the middle of the room and he gestured to it with an open palm, trying to see the face of the person about to speak.

He didn't need the face to know who it was. The voice told him. "So I'm allowed to like it up the ass but not take it up the ass?" Dammit, Dean. The room filled with a mix of snickers and scoffs.

Castiel took a deep breath to compose himself. He stared at the boy, who was now leaning back on the bench with a smirk. His hair was light and short and his jawline was beautiful. He wore a leather jacket and had dirty blonde hair, just the right length for Castiel's fingers to run through or pull while he-

"Sex is meant for those in love. What you like doesn't matter, but your actions do," Castiel relied, looking the boy in the eye as best as he could. He tried to remain neutral in his voice and appearance.

"No, he's right, why does God care about my sex life if everything is consensual?" Another voice, on the right and towards the back, followed by argeeing murmurs.

Castiel resigned himself. Screw it. "I suppose you have a point. Church should focus more upon consent than marriage as the principle for pure sex, hm?" That garnered a few whoops and claps. Castiel smiled to himself.

He smiled until he looked at Dean, that is. The boy's grin was positively evil. He caught Castiel's eyes and winked at him. Castiel kicked himself for saying exactly what the boy had wanted him to.

He ended the service looking at his bible instead of the crowd, and he didn't leave until everyone else did.

On Saturday, Castiel decided to forget about it. He didn't need to worry, because what he'd said had been truthful. The bartender checked out a book. She left him a note with her phone number, followed by "Text me ;) -Meg". He threw it away.

On Sunday, he had service again. Sundays were more like lessons, and Castiel liked them. Today, he went over the story of Job and why he was a good example of perseverance and trust. He loved days like this, just reading the stories and not having to explain God's decisions and actions. Honestly, he didn't know why God did a lot of things.

After service, he stood by the pillar and waited for people to file out before he entered the confessional. He was dreading it. At least, he wanted to dread it. He knew he wanted Dean to come back.

The father returned this time. "Father, I told my son I accept him, and my wife fought with me over it. I said some things I shouldn't have said."

What, was Castiel a damn therapist? "If you're asking if you'll be forgiven, Ephesians 4:31-32 says, 'Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you'. Let your heart be filled with love and honesty instead, and keep strong in that you've done the right thing with your son."

"Thank you so much, Father. I'll leave you to the boy outside then." The man let out a deep breath, as Castiel took in a sharp one. Shit.

Creak. "Hey, Cas, miss me? I think I've sinned quite a bit this week."