Ok. So, I'm going to be completely honest. I have a lot of thing wrong with me. This is a sensitive subject for me, but I'll try and get through it.
Ok. So, I am diagnosed with clinical depression. I've have since I could remember. I realized that I was different than every one else. I would act different. Speak differently. I would also react differently.
The way I was from when I was little. I would always be filled with rage or darkness I would call it. And it would never leave me be.
When I was younger I wasn't sure what was happening. I was so sad and angry with every thing. I started to regret every thing that I've done. I didn't know how to cope with my new attitude. It's like I had to start from the beginning. Like I had to learn every thing all over again.
I have this thing that follows me around every where I go. I do not wish this upon any one. People think the depression is just when you are pissed off at anything that happens. But, there wrong, having depression completely changes your life. It takes your brain on a permanent emotional roller coaster that you are stuck on. And you can't get off. Having this, can and will emotionally, physically and mentally destroy you.
I was to scared to talk to people. So I bottled it up inside for the longest time. But now I can look back at the progress I have made. Now I can see a tunnel of light. I got help. And if you are suffering. And if you are scared. Don't hide. Go and get help. Find some one who can help. It may take a while but you can't give up.
I can reflect upon my life and see what mistakes I've made. And trust me there's a ton. But I got help. I tried things that I thought I could never do. You can get out of this. You may feel like no one is there. And no one cares. I may not know you but trust me when I say this. I CARE.
You may not want to do anything. You may to kill yourself. But please don't. I've been down that road and still am. You can get out of this. I know you can.
Don't be afraid to express your self. That also helped me cope. I've lost a lot of friends. And yes that's sad but that's also a window for a new opportunity.
Have faith in your self. You can do it. I know it's hard but you have to push your self to the limits.
